Standing at the same place, Looking at the same thing

Hello, Saturday

2012-01-29T15:12:00.006+08:00

The best thing about having a night class every Friday is how I'd go home and turn in forgetting it is actually a Friday night, so I'd wake up the next morning to be pleasantly surprised that it is Saturday again. Woohoo!

If it's not too late for coffee
I'll be at your place in ten
We'll hit that all night diner
And then we'll see

There's a love that transcends
All that we've known of ourselves
And I'll wait for it to come
I'll wait for it to come
Well it's got to be strong to touch my heart
Through its shell
And I'll wait for it to come
I'll wait for it to come

One of my ol' favourites on a lazy Sunday. Together with:

Tiger Lily - Matchbook Romance
Hands Down (acoustic version) - Dashboard Confessional

Livejournal

2012-01-24T23:52:00.007+08:00

You know, it's quite interesting to see how I'm intrigued by my own past blog entries in my livejournal. Those were the days where I used to put in the effort in posting pictures, sharing more song lyrics, daily conversations and shenanigans, funny videos, my favourite lines from my favourite movies and the interesting days I had. Gosh, is this part of growing up when I just stop trying to make things interesting anymore around here? Heh. Well, technically, if my mom hadn't told me that she was actually reading my livejournal, I would have stayed there. Hmm.

Found this! Like.

The Square Root of 3
by Kumar Patel

I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

For the longest time

2012-01-23T01:45:00.003+08:00

The song I'd go back to, from time to time :)

If all is well

2012-01-17T21:39:00.014+08:00

There are days when you feel like crawling into a deep hole, to stay there and to never leave. And you just want to let the world spin without you and you'd be more than happy to be missing out on it.

I think this phenomenon is worth investigating; the one-week, delayed PMS.
If there is such a thing, really.

I have been having half-written entries stuck in my postings. I also realised that my blogging style has been pretty cryptic most of the time (or I try to be as much as I could). And if you don't think that my entries have been cryptic in nature, then I've failed to be a cryptic blogger as I aspired to be when I first started this. So anyway, it's about time I should publish something and not let this be stuck, halfway-written like some others.

So anyway, I had a pretty good but tiring start to the semester last week, and perhaps there were just so many things that I feel so damn tired right now. It's as if school never really ended, you forgot that it actually started because school has become this never-ending phase that it is not exactly a phase anymore because it has become a part of you. It is as if the beautiful December not long ago was a huge, colossal black hole. School started with an array of housekeeping issues, and me trying to hunt my ISM supervisor down on what to do next, and typically her, has been unresponsive. And then there's French, the one thing I enjoy learning and it's really amazing to be experiencing this overwhelming joy when I could comprehend Madame's French in class, but when you're thrown with some incomprehensible literary text, you kinda doubt why you love it in the first place. But I guess I'll try to see this difficulty as something pleasantly thrilling. And certainly, the joy of learning is something I always look forward to as a student, especially now when things seem to be more in-depth, more practical and applicable. So hopefully I can graduate saying that I am truly a Psychology major. What make things bleak, difficult and repulsive are really the things that are associated to the things you're passionate about, like the crazy workload that is beyond your means, the assignments that make you lose your sleeping hours, mental and physical drainage, the unsurmountable readings you're attempting to dissect, the pressure to excel, the fear of failing and losing out, and particularly the expectations that are set upon you. So the approach I'm intending to work on for my final semester, and probably the last time as a student (if I don't go on to postgrad), is to really enjoy my classes as if I'll never be assessed, as if there is no such thing as CAP, as if there is no such thing as first-class honours, second-class honours or third-class honours, and as if there is no stress nor pressure. Just me, embracing the complete notion of the pleasure of learning. I would say that this isn't something so easy to do, and thought of a looming grueling battle to achieve all that is killing me already. But I'll work on it.

Another thing that seems pretty daunting and something I've slowly come to realise is the fact that I would be facing major crossroads as well.

And then there are other things. Sometimes you start to question yourself about your quality of life in general, and you try to assess where you stand in the hedonistic sense. And you go through this checklist; your physical aspect, your spiritual well-being, your social life, your family, your emotional well-being and the list goes on. And then you're left wondering if you've really lived life to its fullest. I should know this well enough, that social comparison does no one good. But being aware of this underlying mechanism that is causing all this overthinking is a good start for me to realise that who I am today and the things I've done and experienced are things I have never regretted, and that I have lived life the best as it deserves to be, as it ought to be.

And then there are also the other other things. Things that are beyond your comprehension, your sub-conscious or your unconscious self that you are not able to have access to, but to wait patiently until things present themselves before you. And as of late, I've been really wishing I can read minds, consistent to how others really think we Psychology majors are trained to do. But unfortunately, that misconception indeed remains a misconception.

Guess digging a hole for awhile to bask in nothingness would be nice. That, or if I could have the option of being a kid once again when everything and anything fascinates and having no care about the world. Yesterday a kid just told me that she's going to dissect a frog today and I secretly felt envious of her as she widened her eyes in excitement while telling me that.

Well, whatever it is, it sure feels good to pen these down.
And like the 3 idiots would say, I really hope all is well.

Open your eyes

2012-01-15T17:43:00.007+08:00

We just have to
Open our eyes, our hearts, and minds
If we just look bright to see the signs
We can’t keep hiding from the truth
Let it take us by surprise

Take us in the best way,
Guide us every single day,
Keep us close to You,
Until the end of time

You created everything,
We belong to You.
We raise our hands,
Forever, we thank You.

Le Dieu, ne me laissez pas dépourvu de la foi.

Midnight in Paris

2012-01-08T21:12:00.009+08:00

Gil, who truly believes that he belongs to the 1920s instead of his present time, stumbled upon a Peugeot which brings him back in time. The 1920s, where he yearns to be, where he could meet inspiring people who inspire him to write and of course, where he could meet an alluring lady like Adriana. And all it takes was a midnight roam in Paris and voilà, a magical experience awaits. Well, just like Gale, I stumbled upon my own lala-land ever since the beginning of my December holiday and just like him, I never really wanted to leave. Can I not? I love the holidays and I really had a good time.

Woody Allen must be pleased with me for using his plot from Midnight In Paris to uh.. depict my sheer mental unreadiness for school tomorrow, my real world, and my reluctance to leave lala-land. I must say that I quite like the concept Allen used in the movie; the whole idea of how we continuously idealize the other world, but the present time we are in.

First 9 am seminar tomorrow.
Back to reality, pumpkin.

On a good note, Mademoiselle Ah Qi brought me to a lovely bookshop :)
I wish I really have all the time in the world to smell the best smell on earth, and that is the smell of books
(not academic readings).

Clearly, I need a serious optimism fix for my last semester. Ok go!

Laughter

2012-01-06T19:19:00.007+08:00

If there is one thing I'd tell a person at this moment, it shall be; to be around people who make you laugh. Doesn't really matter if you're a giggler, or a chuckler, or a cackler, or a guffawer, as long as you truly laugh in your very own special way. Life is too short to not see the lighter side of things. And if you're really lucky, you'll meet the very few special people who make you laugh in a way that instantly ignites this small part of you, spreading to your bones and skin, and then you suddenly feel so, so alive. And the best part? You never really knew you could laugh like that.

Don't miss out on it.

Chesapeake

2012-01-06T09:17:00.005+08:00

Can't wait for February!
:)

The Notebook

2012-01-05T00:37:00.004+08:00

Cos I'm really a sucker for beautifully written love letters.
Why oh why.

My Dearest Allie,

I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us. I’m not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I’ll be seeing you.

Noah

The simple pleasures in life

2012-01-01T13:40:00.006+08:00

In no particular order:

Making someone smile
Seeing strangers smile back at you
Rolling your tongue over heavily syrup-coated Baklavas from Turkey
Basking under the Sun on the Lazy River like a boss
Deep conversations
1-to-1 McNuggets
Baking something for the first time and then eating your very own product immediately the moment you've done your finishing touches
Licking cheese cream frosting from your index finger from a very fine tupperware
Watching Bean movie with the sister and laughing away as if it was the first time watching it
Taking your time to shop and trying on every single apparel you love as if you own the hours on the clock, on a perfect weekday
Roaming Town alone and going anywhere you want to
Seeing how your unread, good books are piling up and loving the idea of books waiting on you
Spending late nights just talking
Getting out from the bed to drag yourself for breakfast dates
Heading to the airport not only to send/fetch people, but really to just be at the airport
Seeing how people value your company as much as you value theirs
Eating whatever you crave for, like fried nothings, corn in the cup, almond pretzels, and every cuisine you like
Coming over to your friend's place just to fry French Toast, not for breakfast, but for lunch instead
Having a library book recommended by your father because he thinks it's the sort of book you would like to read to feed your spiritual need
Discovering new places, and revisit certain places to create new memories
Loving the view from your room despite seeing the same ol' view for 13 years of your life
Commuting on long bus rides and knowing there is nothing to rush for
Smelling an approaching downpour and being able to watch from afar how the raindrops actually reach you
Spending hours in the confines of the room just singing; just you and your awesome tunes from the laptop (and locking the door to make sure no one enters on your horrible singing!)
Just laughing; pure genuine, whole-hearted laughs
-

Happy 2012, all!

Bicycles

2011-12-16T12:52:00.005+08:00

As I am sitting here, waiting for a bus to Rey's place, a man in his prayers attire cycled passed me. And so my random wishful thinking on a Friday would be how much I wish I'd stayed in the suburbs so I could cycle everywhere I go, like how people commute in Europe, in China and in all pockets of suburbs in the world. Besides I think bicycles are neat, and people can look pretty chic on them! They don't need buses unless they want to head down to the city. And they can head to the nearest bakery and have a lovely morning chat with the baker and bring home some awesome croissants!

The Hunger Games Trilogy

2011-12-15T15:09:00.003+08:00

I. CANNOT. WAIT. TO. CATCH. THIS!

I am so moving on to read the second book.
And oh, Peeta Mellark, how can I not love you?

Because I do like you

2011-12-06T19:24:00.001+08:00

How can I only discover her now?

Lovers

2011-11-16T00:43:00.002+08:00

"The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along."

- Rumi, The Illuminated Rumi

Excerpt of a beautiful poetry

2011-11-13T09:16:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, He breaks our spirit to save our soul.
Sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole.
Sometimes, He allows pain so we can be stronger.
Sometimes, He sends us failure so we can be humble.
Sometimes, He allows illness so we can take better care of ourselves.
And sometimes, He takes everything away from us...
so we can learn the value of everything He gave us

Make plans, but understand that we live by His grace.

Although they plan, Allah also plans. And Allah is the Best of Planners.
[Holy Qur'an 8:30]

Serendipity

2011-11-06T00:49:00.003+08:00

noun

an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.

good fortune; luck

So a friend of mine asked if I believe in serendipity.

I'm beginning to think that serendipity.. it does exist.

Closure

2011-10-30T22:02:00.002+08:00

I would think that most of the chapters of our lives have their very special or unique or tragic or ordinary, rightful endings, like the end of secondary school, the end of a beautiful trip, the end of a suffering. I think that closure is a very important notion in our lives. Often we think of closure as something negative when it actually forms the very process of life. If we don't have closure, then we're not really moving on with that particular phase in our lives, like how we're still holding onto the book without being able to turn the pages because we're still stuck on that chapter. Because closure indicates a new beginning. And typically I started analyzing back upon which there could have been a closure.

So could it be that the story hasn't ended yet?

With every person

2011-10-30T00:59:00.003+08:00

"God doesn't give you the people you want, He gives you the people you need. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you, and to make you the person you were meant to be."

Living Louder

2011-09-24T08:55:00.006+08:00

I absolutely love The Cab, particularly this one sung by them. Great lyrics.

Living Louder - The Cab

If today's the day I die
Lay me down under the lights
Let me fall in love
Let me save a life

And let me lose my voice
Singing all my favorite songs
Let me stare up at the stars
'Cause its where we all belong

My heart like a fight
Your working my chest
My only regret is having regrets
Travelled the world
I loved every step

And all I know is;
No one, no one lives forever
We will be remembered
For what we do right now

And baby I'm living louder
And dreaming longer, tonight
And baby I'm fighting harder
And loving stronger tonight

'Cause we're all just kids
Who grew up way too fast
Yeah the good die young
But the great will always last
We're growing older
But we're all soldiers tonight

If today's the day I go
Gonna drink with all my friends
Gonna laugh until we cry
As we talk and reminisce

And let me kiss a stranger
And rob the local bank
Let me become real rich
So I can give it all away

When you've got your breath inside your head
Every day's a second chance
If I wake up with a beating heart
Will I stand or will I fall?

I'm living louder
Dreaming longer tonight
Baby I'm fighting harder
And loving stronger tonight

And baby I'm living louder
And dreaming longer tonight
(were living louder, were living louder)
And baby I'm fighting harder
And loving stronger tonight
(were loving stronger, were loving stronger)

'Cause we're all just kids
Who grew up way too fast
Yeah the good die young
But the great will always last
We're growing older
But we're all soldiers tonight

Extroverts

2011-09-16T20:52:00.009+08:00

I am so inspired to write probably a short, brief entry on extroverts and our biases about them. It is just an observation that I thought would be worthy to write about, just because (and that I refuse to study right now). Also, I've always been intrigued about people's personality and how these portrayals of "self" can actually influence how others may treat you the way they do. And lastly, while extroversion has its positive connotations, there are some dark sides as well.

Based on the layman's definition of 'extrovert', it simply describes a person who is energized by being around other people. So what I think could potentially be a bad thing for extroverts is how people form erroneous impressions of them that might undermine the true substance that makes up the person himself. What I mean by this is how people can easily arrive to the conclusion that just because extroverts possess a relatively wider circle of friends, they do not strive for depths in personal relationships and they do not value individual interactions (one-to-one) as much as the rest do. Let me share this quote that will probably do a better job in putting across a similar message as what I'm attempting to argue here.

"Just because you’re beautiful doesn’t mean you don’t do ugly things. Just because you’re not pretty doesn’t mean you don’t have the beauty of a flower. Just because you’re loud doesn’t mean you hate silences. Just because you’re quiet doesn’t mean you have nothing to say. Just because people see you happy all the time doesn’t mean you never cry yourself to sleep. Just because you are unhappy doesn’t mean you can never be happy again. Just because you think it’ll never happen, it just might."

Fluffy or not, if you get my drift, the underlying message here is that; things are not as they seem to be if judged based on face value. I might be wrong in attempting to speak for all extroverts, but I believe there is some truth to it, and some extroverts out there indeed feel that what they really are, can easily be defined just based on their public display of interactions with people. I am not saying that little can be said about one's personality through interactions, but it is also wrong to wholly judge people just solely based on this.

So all of us form certain perceptions, right? And sometimes we judge, it's perfectly normal. I'll share mine. I used to think that this friend of mine has a rather happening life a one point in time. Contrary to what I think at that point in time, that was not true. So she proceeded on to explain to me how her friends actually thought that she's been going out a lot as well when she hadn't. So one clique assumed that she's been going out with the other clique, and another thought the same thing too, and so on so forth, when.. that was not true at all! I think some of us could relate to that, and it can be frustrating when your friends assume such things just because you have a wide circle of friends. So at the end of the day, if everyone adopts this mindset, what's gonna happen to the poor extroverted soul?

I think the main implication here is how in the long run, false impressions of extroverts can harm their friendships. For the lack of better example, people can easily use the excuse of "Oh you have your other friends what" in explaining their lack of effort or their absence. I know many extroverted people who value close intimate friendships, and despite having a wide circle of friends, they know how to prioritize the inner circles, and the closest people whom they cherish. Bottomline is, extroverts or introverts, we essentially need to acquire the important skill of prioritizing and balancing.

I would like to just have a personal say to conclude this. Every single friend deserves to be known on a personal level (if you allow yourself to, depending on where you want the friendship to be headed). Although our identities can be enhanced due to attachments to groups or cliques, I believe that you know someone best when it's one-to-one. And let's not forget our introverts too. Just because they enjoy being by themselves, it does not mean they won't enjoy your company!

Answers

2011-09-14T00:10:00.005+08:00

Sometimes I think, I think too much. But someday, you gotta be doing the questioning. And on top of that, you get answers. But I really do think too much. And I over-analyze. But then again, I get answers.

And then, the emotions come.

Bliss

2011-09-09T17:46:00.005+08:00

Oasis says "Don't Look Back In Anger". But have you ever looked back and feel that if you've been given another chance to relive your life, you will not change a thing?

It's Friday today. Well, I would say that it's been a pretty ordinary day. Had to force myself out of bed and I attempted to be in school by 9 am but failed miserably (as did everyone else in my group) for a project meeting. Had to brave the crowd to get to the science faculty to get my laptop fixed. Typically, my day in school revolves around readings, groupmates, and just awesome people I love to socialize with. If there's one thing I feel grateful for, it would really be the people in it. I have mentioned this number of times before; that if I don't feel socially connected, it's as good as saying that I'm dead. So I am eternally grateful for people who make school bearable.

Anyway cutting to the chase, the reason why I brought up the question at the very first paragraph is because right at this beautiful moment, sitting in my living room and still in my school clothes, I feel nothing but bliss and gratitude. This morning, I woke up and I felt good about myself. I took a few seconds to say thanks to God, and thanks to myself for feeling good. When I was on the 20-minutes bus ride back home just now, I feel nothing but gratitude too. Now you must be wondering why. Well, they say creative juices flow when you're in showers. For me, my mind wanders to great lengths when I'm on bus rides. I took the time to look back and reflect upon the past 6 months. About a couple of months ago, I remembered myself being in an ugly mess. I remembered the person I was at that time, I only remembered how bleak I thought life was, and I remembered asking "How do I go on?" once upon a time. When I looked at my past self and myself right now, I feel a sense of positivity crawling from my skin, and that my outlook seems to improve, and I feel nothing but pure gratitude. I am aware that this state of the moment might be short-lived, or it could be long-lived, but whatever it is, I am just deeply grateful and I am allowing myself to bask in this moment, even if it is for little while.

If you look at the second paragraph, sounds like I had a typical day huh? But any typical day can be filled with so much meaning, if you let it. And for me, it is a day filled with bliss and gratitude.

Because I form conversations in my head everyday

2011-09-06T16:08:00.005+08:00

Gosh so the internet connection is screwed or maybe it's just my 3-year-old beloved laptop. This is really in the moment kind of entry because I realised that one of my best abilities is to dream and dramatize. Although mind you, through the years I've become really practical in terms of mentality but every girl dreams right? So I realised that I tend to have one-sided conversations, with myself (yeah I know, sounds crazy) but I believe everyone has this self-talk going on. But I do that. It could be someone imagining a whole conversation with let's say, an old flame. Perfectly normal. I know some of you would probably think that having one-sided conversations can lead to regret especially if we don't fully execute it but it is actually a form of catharsis. But that's not the point I'm trying to put across. While I am here typing on this iPhone in the school library's multimedia room, with a rather mediocre view of the trees, I am here wondering perhaps I could be a scriptwriter? Since I make conversations in my head everyday, and some of them are pretty dramatic and good. Ha, ktnxbye!

School and Modules

2011-09-02T15:31:00.005+08:00

It's 3:30 PM and I am still on my bed. I love Fridays. Actually it's also because of the fact that I have a 3-day work week after all the module drama I had to face. Monday to Wednesday. But this also means that I have more time to slack, so I'd go to school anyway to catch up with the crazy readings. So officially, I am reading these modules:

Positive Psychology
Addictive Behaviour
Sport Psychology
Evolutionary Psychology

Ok nyeh hope that looks good. Please help me in my CAP, thanks.

So here's just a short list of the things you appreciate when you're in Year 4
1) The familiar faces
2) That's about it

I FEEL OLD.

Been listening to Priscilla Ahn, she's just brilliant. Alongside other influential female artists :)

On a bright note, Happy Eid Mubarak although I'm a few days late.

Can't take that away from me

2011-08-25T11:02:00.006+08:00

The perks of running your player on shuffle (: I chanced into a good, uplifting song.
"If you have peace within yourself, nobody can touch you no matter what happens." - Mariah Carey
Well said, Mariah!

Here you go!

They can say,
Anything they want to say,
Try to bring me down,
But I will not allow anyone to succeed hanging clouds over me,
And they can try
How to make me feel that I,
Don't matter at all,
But I refuse to falter in what I believe or lose faith in my dreams

Cause there's,
There's a light in me,
That shines brightly,
They can try,
But they can't take that away from me
From me

Oh they,
They can do
Anything they want to you,
If you let them in,
But they won't ever win,
If you cling to you pride, and just push them aside,
See I,
I have learned,
There's an inner peace I own,
Something in my soul that they can not possess
So I won't be afraid and the darkness will fade

Cause there's,
There's light in me me,
That shines brightly, yes
They can try,
But they can't take that away from me

No oh oh,
They can't take this
Precious love I'll always have inside me,
Certainly the Lord will guide me where I need to go

They can say
Anything they want to say,
Try to bring me down,
But I won't face the ground,
I will rise steadily sailing out of their reach,
Although they do try,
How to make me feel that I,
Don't matter at all,
But I refuse to fall,
Tell me what I believe or lose faith in my dreams,
Cause there's a light in me,
That shines brightly yes

They can try but they can't take that away from
Me
From me
No no nooo
Me
-

She is just an awesome singer. I would have to thank my Mom for introducing me to Mariah Carey when I was in primary school, haha.

Sakinah

2011-08-19T10:50:00.002+08:00

Good morning! I feel pretty perky today, after reading Sha's first email from London! She's continuing to pursue her medical degree there. I'm a proud friend (:

2 days ago, I was walking along the school walkway and I bumped into a friend of mine. He's a Chinese, and recently converted into Islam. Now, that matters because I bet 50% of the Muslims in this world probably do not know the meaning of my name (ok, am unsure about the statistics but perhaps mostly the Asian Muslims). He just muttered my name and said, "Your name carries a beautiful meaning... tranquility." And I just stood there, amazed and awestruck. Yes people, contrary to how I carry myself (probably not a peaceful person at all), my name means 'tranquility', or 'God-inspired peace of mind'. Usually most of my friends who asked for the meaning of my name would scoff jokingly because of the apparent contrast of my personality and my name, but this guy, he actually said "It's the inside.. that you're peaceful". Yes, I may not be a peaceful person in terms of personality and behaviour since I yak and laugh about a lot, but, inside, I am hoping that I have a peaceful mind (:

Ma vie pendant l'été

2011-08-01T14:31:00.008+08:00

Hello earthlings! Woa, just like that time flew. I withdrew myself from this blog and I realized that it REALLY does need a lot of updating. For one, I had a temporary job for 2 months at People's Association. I was back in the same department I worked in exactly a year ago. For another, there was one point in time when I thought my life was a mess, it wasn't all so long-lived though (or so I hope). As they say, when it rains, it pours. But also, there's this saying that time heals all wounds, and that there's always light at the end of the tunnel. I, for one, believe that there are truths in such cliché-d sayings. And also, I went to Bangkok for a short, awesome shopping trip. I honestly do not know how three months fly.

I attempt to update my blog more, not for the sake of readers (I don't even know if there's anyone reading this anymore), but purely for myself. I remembered the humanistic feel I had a couple of years back, completely in touch with my feelings, and if there's any need for me to vent, I'd come here. And if there's any interesting thoughts and opinions, I'd turn to this space too. Also, Ramadhan is here, and I want to feel rejuvenated. I am amazed at how time really flew, here I am, standing and greeting Ramadhan again (thank you God for allowing me to see this day), and I am amazed that I'm standing here, doing my fourth, final academic year before I could see myself in that blue robe. I sincerely hope that the rest of the year would be good to me, and to my fellow loved ones.

I would love to give this book a second read. I wouldn't say that it's my ultimate lifesaver (although to some degree, yes), but I admire how Elizabeth Gilbert handled the shit that life throws her; that is just amazing. During the time when I was quite a mess, I came to realize that I was not alone, so my mind began to wander and think about everyone else, and the world. And I thought that, hey, when people are indeed a mess, they are blind to everyone else's sufferings. So I stopped to think about some of my girlfriends who had gone through shits, I thought about the losses that some of the people I know had experienced, and then suddenly I feel that my problem has become so minute, as if it diminishes when it's put against all the other pressing issues of the world. And then I realized, that, actually, all of us are broken, at one point in time. ALL of us, are broken. But then, we are given chances to be whole again, and that process is really up to how one handles it. And in my opinion, Elizabeth did it so well, I think this isn't the first time I pen down my praises of her here in this blog.

So yeah, roughly about 1 more week till school starts. It's time for me to make it awesome (:

My world

2011-07-19T13:59:00.002+08:00

What do you do if you are able to relate to every single song and movie? It sucks isn't it?

Dire rien

2011-06-26T09:06:00.001+08:00

I just love this quote.

“You will forgive me, I hope you don’t mind me saying, I just wanted to add, if you’ve got time and I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, because you should know, before we go any further, we should put everything on the table because the reality is and the truth is and the fact of the matter is, I shouldn’t interrupt but I was wondering and if you know, please tell me, how we manage to say so much, without saying anything at all.”

Source I Wrote This For You

Every step we take

2011-06-01T14:53:00.004+08:00

I am lacking of sleep. Jiayee just left Singapore this morning, and she left, for good :( Adieu my dearest friend, hope you'll settle in pretty well in Perth! For kpo people, no, I am not graduating yet. I bravely withdrew my graduation at the Dean's Office yesterday morning, not knowing what to expect this coming academic year. Ever since Monday morning, there's this mixture of looming fear and excitement that never seemed to go away. I am afraid of uncertainties. But a few awesome people told me to go for it, and to grab this opportunity. Yes, life is a learning experience. I have to face challenges head on. I just need to believe that I can do this.

Also, if you're wondering about my French international exam.. As I told those who asked me about it, it was pretty challenging and tough. I have this feeling that it might be difficult to pass, but in the event that I fail, at least I know I tried my best. I only came to realise from this particular event that it's really the journey that matters. Minus all the sighing I heaved throughout the mugging hours (as observed by shuqin), I really learnt a lot about the language. I think throughout the entire time I studied French, it was only recently that I began to see it in a much deeper sense. I was forced to read articles pertaining to the society, to environmental concerns, educational matters. It was good. I suddenly feel that during this phase, I slowly stepped up onto a more mature level of the language. And it was worth it because if I hadn't taken up this exam, I doubt I will ever force myself to experience the challenge of reading through difficult materials. And how can I ever forget the excellent company? I am proud to say that I have met gems while learning a language we all love. And it was all bearable with these people taking it with me, and for that, I did not leave Alliance Francaise feeling defeated (:

On top of that, I am also currently unemployed.

Tweet tweet

2011-05-27T09:22:00.002+08:00

The power of Twitter. A platform for expressing one's feelings, wants, anger, rants and whatnots. All it took was for me to say "I want KFC porridge for breakfast!" and 5 minutes later, Lina called me, and voila, we're gonna meet up for KFC breakfast. Awesome or what. I'm a proud consumer of social media. Although I don't tweet as much.

In all your consciousness

2011-05-24T11:26:00.003+08:00

Yes, do not let events ruin your day.
This, should be everyone's mantra.

In Your Arms

2011-05-24T11:07:00.004+08:00

Obviously, due to many days of unwritten entries, it is due to la paresse that kicked in ever since my exam ended. On a more serious note, I'll be taking an international french exam this Thursday. For these past few days, I've been seriously questioning myself why on earth did I decide to sit for this exam, and why B2 level?! Impulsiveness? Boldness? Stupidity? I really really hope that the 4 papers I'll be sitting for won't be so hard on me. Anyway Monsieur (don't tell you which one!) has been so nice, can you imagine, him, photocopying past exam papers for me and lending me 3 of his books!? Again, I cannot help but to notice how charmant he is.

Anyway, ever since Paris (I think I've mentioned this a few times before here), I just cannot get sick of 'Endless Love'. Yes the Mariah Carey and Luther's version. I was on the bus last night, all mentally drained, perhaps mostly on my left side of the brain, for I've used it up to painstakingly comprehend French, and listening to 'Endless Love'. Well, it was only last night that I decide that this shall be one of my wedding songs if/when the day comes. Don't judge me. I do not have much plans about the future yet, but the song is so suitable for weddings.

And this Kina Grannis song is just lovely. I can't seem to get sick of it. This version's super quirky, but if you really like it, you should listen to its original version.

Hush now, let's go quiet to the park where it first started
Cold night, us lying in the dark
I felt my heart was trying to find a place for you to stay
A place where I'd feel safe

Anything we have known
Anything we've forgotten
In the rain, in the dark we'll lay
In your arms, in your arms I'll stay

Take my hand, let's go into the trees
Behind the branches, falling on our knees
I remember feeling like this part of us would never change

Anything we have known
Anything we've forgotten
In the rain, in the dark we'll lay
In your arms, in your arms I'll stay

Follow me
We both know the way
It's always been the same

Anything we have known
Anything we've forgotten
In the rain, in the dark we'll lay
In your arms, in your arms I'll stay

Gonna get over it

2011-05-11T02:28:00.004+08:00

Singapore's night heat was getting to me, totally couldn't sleep. Had burst of mixed emotions from nowhere really. Had nothing to do. Was admiring pretty girls on Facebook. And then catching up with Fadiah on skype. And then it struck me. How much I should have planned my years carefully. I should have studied harder in Year 1, so I could go for exchange in Year 3. I could have had my dreams come true, study in a French-speaking country, and just have a European experience for 6 months. I should have studied harder so I wouldn't have to struggle so much in Year 3 just so I can make it for honours. Well looks like I hadn't plan it out so well huh? It sucks. Sucks sucks sucks. Now I feel like rolling into a ball and shrink into nonexistence.

But then again there's no point in thinking over the past. It's over. At least I am thankful for all the opportunities I grabbed during these 3 years in NUS (I've drafted a long entry on this, have yet to publish it due to incompletion).

On a more positive note, Sara Bareilles concert later at Esplanade! Can't wait.
Now, tell me, when is it that she goes off-pitch live?!
Check this song out, it's awesome!

i'll be alright
just not tonight

Secret Garden

2011-05-06T10:23:00.001+08:00

Joo Won's priceless words:

"A chic, short haircut, tanned skin... doesn't smile much... gets angry easily, eyes that are a little sad. Some who can't run for Miss Korea because of a knife scar.... Am I crazy? Mum, I'm just saying this, but even if I go mad, can you still give me my inheritance?"

Secret Garden

I do do do do do

2011-05-01T00:11:00.008+08:00

I think I almost forgot how nice it feels to blog. I haven't been typing much ever since school started this year and that sucks because I totally lost touch with this space. So I'll be slowly revitalizing the energy here.

Decided to head down to Coronation Plaza two-leveled Starbucks today. A change of environment is indeed good because at least I could absorb some stuffs unlike yesterday. Totally love the ambience because it was a mix of carefree and studious environment (yeah Singaporean students study anywhere and everywhere). As usual, I had an awesome relationship with my hot chocolate hazelnut and had a nice, warm blueberry muffin. Yep, I realize that tea and cakes can really make my day (:

I met with my girlies for ais' birthday celebration. And adhering to the theme, it was small, special and intimate. Oh how I miss girly moments and fun-time. Yes, I do sound like I really spent a great deal amount of time away from these things. In actual fact, I did go to the central library for about 13 days or so (sucha loser right?), but of course Rui Qi and myself would beg to differ because they were productive days plus random, spurts of fun times too. It's nice having a study mate although I broke it today simply because I could not take being in the same place for a long time. So I left the library in a haste yesterday, spent some time in the bus dealing with myself for once, separate from academic aspirations, and met Qeen for dinner. And it was good (:

Random facts of the day:

- I think figs (which are high on dietary fibre I should add), can really work your bowels.
- It takes many muscles to frown, so smiling, in many ways, are beneficial.
- Bruno Mars looks like a mat (not spreading beach mats, but mats as in, malay idling boys under the HDB blocks) in the Lazy Song with his checkered shirt. Heehee. But still cute and awesome tho!
- NUS residences are not so bad after I had my sleepover experience in diila's room at RVR! Although sleeping on the sleeping bag is rather back-breaking, but it was good. We talked our way to sleep, mostly talking about anything french.

Random question of the day:
- Can Bruno Mars speak tagalog?

And I absolutely LOVE this.

Can you spot the different smileys found in the clip?
And I love perky women. Contagious!

Set fire to the rain

2011-04-30T09:32:00.003+08:00

I let it fall, my heart
And as it fell, you rose to claim it
It was dark and I was over
Until you kissed my lips and you saved me
My hands, they were strong, but my knees were far too weak
To stand in your arms without falling to your feet

But there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true
And the games you'd play, you would always win, always win

But I set fire to the rain
Watched it pour as I touched your face
Well, it burned while I cried
'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name

When laying with you I could stay there
Close my eyes, feel you here forever
You and me together, nothing is better

'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true
And the games you's play, you would always win, always win

But I set fire to the rain
Watched it pour as I touched your face
Well, it burned while I cried

'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name
I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
When we fell, something died
'Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time

Sometimes I wake up by the door
That heart you caught must be waiting for you
Even now when we're already over
I can't help myself from looking for you

I set fire to the rain
Watched it pour as I touch your face
Well, it burned while I cried
'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name
I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
When we fell, something died
'Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time, oh
Oh, no
Let it burn, oh
Let it burn
Let it burn

Set Fire To The Rain - Adele

Adele is simply brilliant! I think she wouldn't look as attractive if she's size 8. And no, she doesn't look like Blair Waldorf!

World in front of you

2011-04-30T09:16:00.003+08:00

Monsieur Waldo Wally shared this video with me a couple of days back. I thought it's good, and so true too. And I love the background song called 'Cambridge' by Kina Grannis towards the end of the video (:

The elections are getting really interesting.
I am getting sick of the central library (fer real).
I have one more paper to go, which is next Thursday.
Am not exactly super prepared for it, so gotta push myself for one last paper!

Have a good Saturday y'all!

Rolling in the deep

2011-04-24T00:23:00.002+08:00

All I can muster to say is Adele's album '21' is too awesome! (:

I have 3 more papers to go!

je ne t'aime pas comme ca

2011-04-14T10:49:00.001+08:00

Be, be your love

2011-04-07T11:13:00.002+08:00

Just in Rachael Yamagata mood (:

If I could take you away
Pretend I was queen
What would you say
Would you think I'm unreal
'Cause everybody's got their way I should feel

Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real
Want to be your everything

Everything...

Everything's falling, and I am included in that
Oh, how I try to be just okay
Yeah, but all I ever really wanted
Was a little piece of you

Everything will be alright
If you just stay the night
Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away
Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away

And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real

I want to be your love, love, love

Don't stop inspiring me

2011-04-03T13:55:00.001+08:00

I've just been listening to No Doubt recently. Someone tell me why the old songs seem so much better?

Run
Running all the time
Running to the future
With you right by my side

Me
I'm the one you chose
Out of all the people
You wanted me the most
I'm so sorry that I've fallen
Help me up lets keep on running
Don't let me fall out of love

Running, running
As fast as we can
Do you think we'll make it?
(Do you think we'll make it?)
We're running
Keep holding my hand
It's so we don't get separated

Be
Be the one I need
Be the one I trust most
Don't stop inspiring me
Sometimes it's hard to keep on running
We work so much to keep it going
Don't make me want to give up

BOO ME

2011-03-28T17:31:00.001+08:00

AFTERMATH OF LAST-MINUTE-SUBMISSION. DISLIKE :(
NEVER EVER WANT TO FEEL RUSHED, EVER AGAIN.

Never Let Me Go

2011-03-23T22:00:00.009+08:00

I know I haven't been blogging for at least a month. Falling sick is indeed a double-edged sword cos for one, I have a reason to slow down and rest. I realised I haven't done some of the things I totally deserve, like catching up on Glee, and perhaps this blog, which I've been neglecting a lot, woops.

There has been a lot of good music lately. I chanced into this one. Nearly screamed cos it's REGINA SPEKTOR MEETS RADIOHEAD! She did a cover on 'No Surprises'. Awesome or what!? Regina, please come to Singapore!! If it's anyone, it should be her because she's an exquisite singer.

So on updates, there has been a lot going on lately. Deadlines, assignments, presentations. A traumatizing encounter with a stranger. And, a sudden death of a friend. May he rest in peace. Dear God, please heal the people who love him and may they move on with their lives for in Hereafter, we shall all meet again. Death has been a looming subject at one point of time. It has ingrained in me that it is a part of the life's equation, whether we like it or not. And that somehow, each of us has to go. I came across our dear Marilyn Monroe's quote on death, she mentioned something like how peaceful it would be to be resting and be surrounded with flowers, and without needing to think about yesterday, today or tomorrow. Death has struck me so deep because the death of someone I know personally gives me a reminder that life is indeed short. And at that point in time, my mind was fixated upon the whole uncertainty of it, not knowing how, or when we have to go. Well, at least there's one thing we all can be sure of, to make sure we live life to the fullest, and that there are no regrets, and that life is worth living for. Because sometimes, we really don't know how to live. So live my dear friends.

So while each of us has been battling with our own little things, there are greater bigger, things out there. Just when we thought that life sucks, there are people dying. My heart goes our to the Japanese victims. I really admire them so much for their strength. May they grow stronger in this adversity.

On a lighter note, I want to thank all my lovely friends who have made my birthday an awesome one.
Yes this shout-out is totally overdued!

Can't wait to read these:

Yeah it's a coincidence that these books are written by Japanese. I didn't manage to catch 'Never Let Me Go' as I had intended because I really have no time! But I'll settle on for reading first (:

Anyway, gotta find 10 newspaper cuttings and write an 8-page essay on them by Monday, and progress is really 1% boohoo. Why don't we have a CTRL + F button in real life?

Alice

2011-02-19T00:49:00.002+08:00

When the world's crashing down
When I fall and hit the ground
I will turn myself around
Don't you try to stop me

I realised that Alice in Wonderland has really awesome soundtrack. Songs by The All American Rejects, Plain White Ts, Motion City Soundtrack, Tokio Hotel, Owl City and of course many more!

Girlfriends

2011-02-18T09:18:00.004+08:00

I cannot imagine life without girlfriends and the many wonderful things associated with it. Heart-to-heart talks, giggly giggles, genuinity, deep conversations, compassion, having them to relate extremely well with you, being silly together, doing many million girly (or non-girly) things, gossiping (yes this is bad but I am certain every girl does it), story sharing, warm hugs, sleepovers, comfortable silences, squeals, being there for each other NO MATTER WHAT, talking about everything under the Sun knowing they won't EVER judge you, boy talk, boy crushes, celebrity crushes, window shopping, shopping.. uh shopping?

It's like there's this bond and camaraderie only girls understand.
And I'd say that we should be thankful to have the amazing girls to whom we can do all these with.

20 untranslatable words from all around the world

2011-02-05T16:48:00.004+08:00

I just really wanna share this. Because I'm in love with languages and it's really nice to discover words that are capable of conveying their meanings without having to explain so much.
-

1. Toska
Russian – Vladmir Nabokov describes it best: “No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause. At less morbid levels it is a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning. In particular cases it may be the desire for somebody of something specific, nostalgia, love-sickness. At the lowest level it grades into ennui, boredom.”

2. Mamihlapinatapei
Yagan (indigenous language of Tierra del Fuego) – “the wordless, yet meaningful look shared by two people who both desire to initiate something but are both reluctant to start” (Altalang.com)

3. Jayus
Indonesian – “A joke so poorly told and so unfunny that one cannot help but laugh” (Altalang.com)

4. Iktsuarpok
Inuit – “To go outside to check if anyone is coming.” (Altalang.com)

5. Litost
Czech – Milan Kundera, author of The Unbearable Lightness of Being, remarked that “As for the meaning of this word, I have looked in vain in other languages for an equivalent, though I find it difficult to imagine how anyone can understand the human soul without it.” The closest definition is a state of agony and torment created by the sudden sight of one’s own misery.

6. Kyoikumama
Japanese – “A mother who relentlessly pushes her children toward academic achievement” (Altalang.com)

7. Tartle
Scottish – The act of hestitating while introducing someone because you’ve forgotten their name. (Altalang.com)

8. Ilunga
Tshiluba (Southwest Congo) – A word famous for its untranslatability, most professional translators pinpoint it as the stature of a person “who is ready to forgive and forget any first abuse, tolerate it the second time, but never forgive nor tolerate on the third offense.” (Altalang.com)

9. Prozvonit
Czech – This word means to call a mobile phone and let it ring once so that the other person will call back, saving the first caller money. In Spanish, the phrase for this is “Dar un toque,” or, “To give a touch.” (Altalang.com)

10. Cafuné
Brazilian Portuguese – “The act of tenderly running one’s fingers through someone’s hair.” (Altalang.com)

11. Schadenfreude
German – Quite famous for its meaning that somehow other languages neglected to recognize, this refers to the feeling of pleasure derived by seeing another’s misfortune. I guess “America’s Funniest Moments of Schadenfreude” just didn’t have the same ring to it.

12. Torschlusspanik
German – Translated literally, this word means “gate-closing panic,” but its contextual meaning refers to “the fear of diminishing opportunities as one ages.” (Altalang.com)

13. Wabi-Sabi
Japanese – Much has been written on this Japanese concept, but in a sentence, one might be able to understand it as “a way of living that focuses on finding beauty within the imperfections of life and accepting peacefully the natural cycle of growth and decay.” (Altalang.com)

14. Dépaysement
French – The feeling that comes from not being in one’s home country.

15. Tingo
Pascuense (Easter Island) – Hopefully this isn’t a word you’d need often: “the act of taking objects one desires from the house of a friend by gradually borrowing all of them.” (Altalang.com)

16. Hyggelig
Danish – Its “literal” translation into English gives connotations of a warm, friendly, cozy demeanor, but it’s unlikely that these words truly capture the essence of a hyggelig; it’s likely something that must be experienced to be known. I think of good friends, cold beer, and a warm fire. (Altalang.com)

17. L’appel du vide
French – “The call of the void” is this French expression’s literal translation, but more significantly it’s used to describe the instinctive urge to jump from high places.

18. Ya’aburnee
Arabic – Both morbid and beautiful at once, this incantatory word means “You bury me,” a declaration of one’s hope that they’ll die before another person because of how difficult it would be to live without them.

19. Duende
Spanish – While originally used to describe a mythical, spritelike entity that possesses humans and creates the feeling of awe of one’s surroundings in nature, its meaning has transitioned into referring to “the mysterious power that a work of art has to deeply move a person.” There’s actually a nightclub in the town of La Linea de la Concepcion, where I teach, named after this word. (Altalang.com)

20. Saudade
Portuguese – One of the most beautiful of all words, translatable or not, this word “refers to the feeling of longing for something or someone that you love and which is lost.” Fado music, a type of mournful singing, relates to saudade. (Altalang.com)

Home

2011-02-03T18:35:00.000+08:00

I may still not know what I want to be when I grow up, but I do know that someday I want to live in a house filled with my books and travel souvenirs. And the walls that aren’t covered in bookshelves will be covered with photos of my family and friends. When I leave the house I will be going to a job I love, and I’ll return to a person I love. So, that’s the dream I’m working on.

Source

Bound to you

2011-02-03T11:11:00.005+08:00

Funny things happen whenever I'm too engrossed in a conversation with someone. Like take last Friday for example in the school library, I happened to bump into this psych senior of mine so I asked her about how honours is like and stuffs like that. And all that while I was registering myself to book a computer. So I was yakking away and I could actually multi-task, but I FORGOT the computer I chose to sit at. How silly. Can you imagine after choosing the computer seat, I glanced at the seat number without internalizing it. How typical of me!

Something just came across my mind. And perhaps it has to do with me being a girl and everything. Sometimes I really wonder why on earth do the amount of clothes in my wardrobe simply DIMINISHES at an alarming speed. Are there crocodiles down there? Oh gosh. And each time that happens I feel like I don't have clothes when that isn't true at all! Ah, I need to shop nonetheless! CNY sales FTW :D

Oh happy Lunar New Year to my Chinese friens, and any Koreans out there who's reading this cos I believe they celebrate it too right?

I finally caught Burlesque. Christina is beyond awesome. I've always thought she has the best female vocals ever. And perhaps Kelly Clarkson as well.

Suddenly the moment's here
I embrace my fears
All that I have been carrying all these years
Do I risk it all
Come this far just to fall, fall

Ooh,
I'm bound to you.

Beautifully written and sung.

Not so ordinary

2011-01-26T10:18:00.004+08:00

There's really something about today that makes it a very good day although I'm only typing this at 10:18 am. I am a happy girl. I slept earlier yesterday (note that my early can be 12 am), and I woke up this morning feeling fresh and for once in a week or so, I feel like I've had sufficient sleep. I woke up to a nice motivational message and suddenly I feel I can do anything. Took a nice shower, picked on a simple tunic top with my flowery scarf and slipped into my comfortable denim pumps. I managed to board onto a bus that was almost empty. When I alighted the bus, there were 2 of the same buses behind me, all crowded. Am a lucky girl. Sauntered to school macs to get a cheap $4.30 breakfast meal and am here seated in my favourite part of the school library, and without having to see this regular couple hogging the power plug. Savoured my hashbrowns, went to the washroom and I stared at myself in the mirror and I see a very contented girl. I'm thankful :D

So far it's been good. So I hope I can complete my never-ending agendas for the day.
Have a good day everyone!

Like a train on the track

2011-01-25T12:24:00.004+08:00

THIS SEM'S WORKLOAD IS CRAZILY HEAVY SHEESH.

Anyway here's a new official 2010 video for Dog Days Are Over.
I love awesome musicians like that!

You know what I'm excited for?
RACHAEL YAMAGATA & SARA BAREILLES CONCERT! :D
Money in the bank account, please grow! I wanna attend for at least one of their concerts! The bad thing is that Bareilles' concert is during the exam period nyeh.

Conversation

2011-01-23T01:35:00.004+08:00

For all the times we have forgotten you, or neglected you, You have never left us, deserted us, or forgotten us.

Thank you, God.
Many times over.

Run

2011-01-19T23:11:00.004+08:00

notes to self:

be punctual for classes
start studying
sois patient
shouldn't internalize what other people think/say too much
must go at own pace - because it's me leading my life, and not anyone else
start saving up - STOP. STOP. STOP spending so much on food
find a tutee
get mp3 fixed

Change

2011-01-17T18:27:00.004+08:00

I've been thinking alot about this whole notion of 'change' as of late. Funny why I didn't think much of it when Dr Lehman was talking about it a whole lot in my MNO lectures as I do now. Thanks to his inspiring lectures which were apparently sticky, I can still remember what he said. People often think that we are resistant to change, that people crawl back to their old routines and bad habits die hard, but perhaps we have under-evaluated the need for change and our ability to embrace change. The best example Dr Lehman has always used to illustrate how simple change can be is how he had made the lifelong decision to marry his dear wife he has spoken alot of endearingly in our lectures. THAT is change, but not that hard apparently ey? Again, he used another example; pertaining to his career and that some changes are required. The main question I want to pose is, how can we embrace change?

It never occurred to me how un-volatile I can be. I've always thought that I'm a flexible person, but I think I've been stuck in a lifestyle I've been so comfortable in for so long that perhaps I do need change.. A good change?

And to type all this while my nose is running is pretty amazing. Oh my.

And I haven't been blogging for abit. Time for music share! A captivating one by Mika!

Can you believe it? In the midst of shopping for a pyjamas pants at FOC jb, MTV was showing apparently and Qeen and I stood in front of the TV in the middle of the shop for awhile thanks to this song :D

Another new semester

2011-01-11T23:58:00.004+08:00

Clearly I was still floating in the holidayland on the first day of school (yesterday) as I was so confident to have left home, even filled up my 1 litre bottle of water with everything else BUT my pencil case and foolscap paper. How silly of me. That's like going out on a normal day to meet up with friends!

Darwin & Evolution lecture was uber boring. I certainly think that Darwin and the law of evolution is not boring at all, but it's really the lecturer. Droned on and on and on about the whole history before Charles Darwin came up with evolution.

As usual and anticipated, I always have the entry of the first day of school and the modules I'm taking this sem:

Adolescent Psychology
Language and Cognitive Processes
Lab in Interpersonal Relationships
Introduction to Social Work
Darwin & Evolution

Le sigh. No francais this semester, I have decided to forego it just for the sake of my CAP. There's no point in taking a module I'll get a mediocre grade for and a module that I can neither S/U or even pull up my CAP as a whole. So hopefully social work will boost up my CAP a little. Adolescent psych lecture today was good, although we expected Dr Sim to be taking this module but it turned out to be this good german prof. So i guess it's not bad after all because for one, we can definitely relate to some of the materials learnt.

I hope that the school mood will finally sink in a little. Well at least I remembered to bring my school materials today unlike yesterday.

Perfect Symmetry - Keane; on repeat :D

je vous remercie

2011-01-05T09:18:00.004+08:00

At this very moment, I feel deeply thankful for the friends that I have, and those who look out for me and want the best for me (:

And I felt like blogging just that.
<3

2011

2010-12-31T12:50:00.003+08:00

I know I haven't been the best updater the whole of this December. Let's just say I've been having the slackiest, meetups-filled, food-filled, latenights-filled, phonecalls-filled, movie-filled December since the last 2 decembers have been spent doing OCIPs. And for that I'm glad that I've been doing what I've been doing for school will be starting soon. Reason why I've suddenly decided to peek into this blog is to wish all an advanced Happy New Year 2011 before I check myself into the hotel with my lovely usuals to spend our 31st and 1st together. I hope 2010 has been treating all well and let's usher the new year with a bang! Woo.

See you guys next year :)

XXXXXX

Il Dolce Far Niente!

2010-12-09T12:04:00.001+08:00

One of the best things about the school holidays is the fact that I finally have "me" time I've never had enough of during the buzzling school semesters. True that I've been going out every single day last week ever since my last paper, but spending time at home and doing the things I've wanted to like catching up with my shows, movies, reading, music, stoning, lying down but not sleeping, television, lingerrr.blogspot, tumblr, have never felt so blissful for these couple of days.

My playlist/soundtrack as of late :)

Fade Together - Franz Ferdinand
Fidelity - Regina Spektor
Foundations - Kate Nash
Mushaboom - Feist
Le Festin - Camille
L'Uomo Che Amava Le Donne - Nina Zilli
Uncharted - Sara Bareilles
The Goldfish Song - Kina Grannis
Drumming Song - Florence + The Machine

I cannot imagine a better world without good, awesome music in it.

I just recently watched 'Love Happens' on HBO and I cannot help but to share some of the quirky words they used:

1) Quidnunc: a person who is eager to know the latest news and gossip; a gossip or busybody
2) Poppysmic: the sound produced by smacking one's lips
3) Sesquipedalianist: a person who uses long, unusual, sometimes obscure words in speech or writing

What sesquipedalianism.

Oh and I've decided to put 'Il Dolce Far Niente' as my entry title today because I feel that I have mastered the 'art of doing nothing' (as what it means) for these few days. I did mention this quote before, it's adapted from the book 'Eat, Pray, Love', which I've watched the movie on Monday (unfortunately i didn't manage to catch the movie when it was in the theatres). I must say that I love the movie. I didn't find it boring as I heard some people would think, I find it particularly therapeutic. So, as much as I love the book, the same goes for the movie. I must say that Julia Roberts is the perfect elizabeth gilbert they can ever find.

And I'd like to go to Italy and learn Italian, pretty please? I like how Italians speak with their hands :)

Yesterday Rui Qi and I surprised Joy at the airport before she departed to Australia. I love surprising people. And oooh, the Esplanade library will be one of the occasionally visited as Mademoiselle Rui Qi told me that we can borrow free DVDs for a month, it's like borrowing books, but in movies form woohoo! Speaking as a movie buff!

Gleek

2010-12-05T13:54:00.009+08:00

Warning, this entry will be filled with awesome Glee numbers :)

Gwyneth is so awesome isn't she? She can sing!

Teenage Dream!!

Furt :D

Love this Sectionals performance. The dance Mike and Brittany pulled was goood.

And last my not least, my favouritest of them all, Dog Days Are Over. And of course the original is the best although Tina and Mercedez nailed this song :)

Dog Days Are Over - Florence + The Machine

Happiness hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her stuck still no turning back
She hid around corners and she hid under beds
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled
With every bubble she sank with her drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your loving, your loving behind
You cant carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come

And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh
Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back
Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your loving, your loving behind
You cant carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

Hot Chocolate

2010-12-02T17:31:00.005+08:00

So I'm planted in Starbucks at One Fullerton with Aiman because we spontaneously decide to spend our day in starbucks with our laptops, good reads and nice cuppas. Perfect way of spending the day, there's an awesome view of the Integrated Resort, nice jazz music, and my lovely hot chocolate on such a chilly weather. And what made the day perfect is the fact that there are free drinks 5-7 pm! It's the time of the year again, folks.

Totally my perfect idea of chilling, am loving the school holidays :D

My list of things to watch:

1) The Big Bang Theory
2) HIMYM season 6
3) Gossip Girl
4) GLEE
5) Hana Yori Dango 2
6) My many many movies :D
-

So the past 2 days have been spent with my lovely girls. Went to watch 500 Days of Summer at Joy's, played Monopoly Deal and spent the evening at TWG, a totally tai-tai way of spending the night. But no doubt, the tea was good, I really think the appreciation of tea is an indication of how people grow up and acting like adults, hmmm. And yesterday went to meet the girls again (don't I get sick of you guys? haha!) to watch HP for the second time (for me and ruiqi), and still enjoyed it. Like, I love Luna Lovegood's humour please. "That's an odd place to put something in your shoe, Harry". And then an awesome shopping spree, am loving every bit of it! I am one happy girl, and I was totally deprived of such shopping moments for the entire semester!

My awesome recess/exam week

2010-11-29T12:49:00.008+08:00

Awesome awesome awesome. Ok as many of you have guessed, my finals were over since last Friday, ending with social psych paper. I rather not talk about how my papers went, but more of how this semester went. I think school as of this year was rather happening (only intermittently of course, but very memorable), since predominantly, it's been filled with school shitloads. Last semester was great as I had numerous outings with ze french peeps and the nusha gang, this semester seems to lack of those since ze french gang flew off to France for exchange. But the best part about this sem is really the joy of learning although Dr Penney's midterm paper was a killer, french 5 seemed a little demanding, and MNO was just full of projects and time-consuming and the many projects and presentations I've had. But they were all awesome! Bottomline is, the equation will always be learning > studying, hands down. It may seem, on the surface, that I'm biased towards my own major, but there's really never a time when I wasn't marvelled with the things I learnt from Psychology. Epiphany FTW.

So moving on with the exciting things! Ok as some of you might not know, I'm a HUGE Harry Potter fan. My first HP book read was the Prisoner of Azkaban, although yes, I'm aware that it should have been the Sorcerer's Stone. So it was Rowling's 3rd book that got me intrigued and I began to start all over from book one. And as you may have read before, I managed to squeeze in some time amidst the busy mugging schedule right before the exams to watch The Deathly Hallows. And what can I say? I enjoyed it. Plus, I watched with a bunch of people who would make a joke OUT OF EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING. So with a heavy heart, we had to continue with our mugging routine and never did I know that we would exhibit our harry potter frenzy upon random strangers in the library.

Let me explain. I think I have to thank the strong winter in the north for making these exchange students flee to Singapore to escape the cold and enjoy the summer. Yes, they really think it's summer to the extent of how we witnessed the Frenchboys sashay-ed their asses off in Arts canteen with their sunglasses on. But anyway, the best part about the daily mugging in the central library was the people who have uncanny resemblances to DRACO MALFOY, BILL WEASLEY, CRABBE, RON WEASLEY, AND DUDLEY. Crazy I know. Me and the girls had a kick-ass time laughing over these. I think the person who resembled the most was the Draco Malfoy lookalike. It's like meeting the real Tom Felton, oh how I wish! The funniest thing is, the draco malfoy and bill weasley lookalikes are actually friends (they wouldn't be in the book)! So hands down, I had the best reading/studying week ever in the whole nus history.

And not to forget, my awesome girls who have made the studying period more bearable. Am so grateful for them :D

And to end my crazy recess/exam week shenanigans, let me share the Freudian slip I made about a week ago. Me and the girls were studying paediatric psych and it just happened that rui qi was reading a chapter on "Prematurity and Failure to Thrive" when Hazel texted me whether the french papers were on my french prof's desk to collect. So thanks to the materials from that chapter (mainly about the deaths of infants), I replied her this: "Yeap, you can collect your paper on his death." instead of desk. Holy sheesh, freudian slip to its max. Of course I didn't mean to curse my awesome french prof.

And oh, you should totally catch these movies:

This movie is highly disturbing but it's a very well-done movie. Kudos. I'm dying to watch the original Swedish version. I highly recommend people to catch this.

And for something light-hearted..

I AM IN LOVE WITH FLYNN RIDER.
Is there any way I can enter a cartoon?

Nasality

2010-11-25T00:56:00.006+08:00

This Ratatouille soundtrack puts me to good mood :)

I've been thinking about how these French people can sound so nasal all the time, even when they speak English. I even thought about how it could possibly be a trait in their genes that has been passed down from generations to generations. I know this is way too random a thing to think about, but what triggered this was the flu bug that attacked me about a couple of weeks ago which had me go all nasal for almost about a week. And so after I had my french debate, it suddenly hit me how the nasality of one's voice can perfect one's french accent.

Do I have to be sick to sound nasal!? Lol.

Ok I have WAY too many stories to tell, stories accumulated from more than a weeks' worth of tales during recess week all the way to the exam week. Friday shall be the day I'll look forward to. Meanwhile, I am so loving mugging sessions with rui qi, joy and jiayee; we crack each other up almost every other time :D

RAWR

2010-11-20T21:34:00.003+08:00

QU’EST-CE QUE JE DOIS FAIRE? POURQUOI LE TEMPS S’EST PASSE TROP VITE QUAND J’ETUDIE ?! J’AI BESOIN PLUS DE TEMPS POUR FINIR MES REVISIONS :( J’SUIS STRESSEE ET DE PLUS EN PLUS, J’AI PERDU MON MOTIVATION. AH C’EST LA VIE. MERDE.

MAIS C’EST PAS GRAVE. JE PEUX LE FAIRE ! LE BUT DE CET ARTICLE EST POUR EXPRIMER MES SENTIMENTS. POURQUOI EN FRANÇAIS ? SIMPLEMENT POUR EVITER DE SEMBLER QUE J’AI FAIT BEAUCOUP DE REFLEXIONS CONCERNANT LES ISSUES SCOLAIRES.

JE SERAI MIEUX PLUS TOT !

Eid Al-Adha

2010-11-17T12:16:00.005+08:00

A Pakistani teenager hugs his goat at a livestock market for upcoming Eid al-Adha festival on the outskirts of Islamabad, Pakistan.

Happy Eid to Muslims once again. I feel thankful that we have 2 eids in a year, and although the former Eid renders people (predominantly Muslims in Asia) more celebrations and joy, EidulAdha has a greater significance. Although I'm many miles away, pictures of Muslims clad in white coming from all over the world, congregating on this very day, in front of Kaabah, has always given me spiritual strength and faith and hopes that someday, I'll muster my way there myself, God-willing.

Hope this holiday brings well to all be it enjoying the good company of food and family, studying or relaxing :)

I found this really nice quote from Yatay, and I'd like to share this:

In Morocco, on one of our honeymoons, I became drawn to the word 'inshallah', meaning 'if God wills it'. I love the simplicity and beauty of this idea. In English, there is no one word that so completely surrenders to fate.

-Martha McPhee

How I personally interpret this is nothing of any associations to 'low perseverance' or 'resignation of fate' for that matter. How I see this is we say "inshaallah" purely because we don't know when God decides to take our souls away. But this quote is so beautiful, I am fascinated by the whole lisguistic aspect of it, and I'd like to know really if there's any equivalent word from any other languages that can capture this same essence.

Head Over Heels

2010-11-15T06:19:00.006+08:00

Life, I really believe, is about falling in love. With ideas, with stories, with experiences, mistakes, adventures, poetry, imaginations, old books, new books, movies, music, and, of course, people. Everything that is worthwhile in this world is worth falling in love with, and I can’t imagine a better way to live one’s life than to be always head over heels.

— Unknown

And no doubt, I am head over heels for this quote :)

I believe in this in every sense of its notion. I can never imagine life without feeling passionate for the things we do and the things we encounter, for that matter. The people we should envy are the people who readily have their hearts bursting and burning with love all the time. Speaking of that, I am in love with David Lehman's reading choices. I read several chapters of Switch and I must say it's brilliant!

Morning! This is one of the rare occasions that I log in to blogger this early. 6:20 AM! Thanks to my needed "nap" at 10:45 that became a sleep. So it's the reading week. I seriously have so much to study, so God knows how I'll finish all of them.

One word: GAMBATE!

And Coldplay & Sara Bareilles playlists FTW!
Their songs are complementary to the chilly weather now, am lovin' it.

The Experiment

2010-11-14T14:06:00.001+08:00

A must watch! The Stanford prison experiment.

And a week to my first paper. Exams will end on 26th, so that's awesome :D

Les Francophiles

2010-11-11T22:05:00.001+08:00

One of the best things about Monday is the fact that I am so finir with french 5. Over and done with the final test and just ended with a debate today woohoo! I went through 5 different hurdles within a week and nothing can feel as good as feeling relieved and accomplished. Of course I've my final exams in a week but I'm gonna take some breaks as of this week :)

I am excited for HARRY POTTER & THE DEATHLY HALLOWS! The best thing is I've already got tickets this coming Thurday! Even if it means 3 hours away from studying despite 3 days away from my very first finals paper yikes!

So today marked the final french tutorial. Nicole and I were kinda sad that it would be our last french class ever (if we choose not to continue with french 6). But today was awesome because I bumped into francesca and chatted with her quite a bit, and then bumped into Dorisa, she finally came back from exchange in France! That girl spent a year there or something. And I had quite an awesome bonding time with grace, ho man and shuqin during lunch. And picture-taking with Emmeline. It feels great to share a common interest with these people, c'est la langue francaise! :D

Et Gaspard Ulliel, tu es tres charmant!

Breathe

2010-10-25T23:47:00.004+08:00

This is frustrating. I ranted out so well and all it takes was an accidental click and the whole entry's gone. I am beyond infuriated (obviously this doesn't show). But then again, I can always rant twice.

As I was typing before, the things I have to do and have to complete by this week and next week have completely exceeded the existing resources I have now :(

I have three ongoing projects to do and I have been multi-tasking like crazy. There's paediatric psych presentation slides to tidy up, french powerpoint slides and presentation script and MNO report and presentation, again. It's crazy. The worst feeling is knowing that there are people around you who are somehow depending on you (well we are all depending on each other in groupwork) and it's tearing me apart. But I am only human and I can only do things one at a time. And I hate to admit and to have reached this state but I completely abhor how the academic aspect of french is slowly killing off my intrinsic interest and enjoyment in the language itself. It's like I totally LOVE and ADORE french, so it's not fair that academics can actually diminish your passion for something. And of course I'm not only talking about french, it does generalise almost to everything. Ah well, we'll see about that once my presentations/projects are over.

Thank God, I am not losing my soul yet.

The true essence of being an undergraduate has finally dawned on me this very semester, that sometimes I just have to mind my own business and drown in the things I have to do, rather than how I used to seek exciting things just to create that illusion that at least there's something positive and happening in my life. Now, I just don't seek out those things anymore. Simply because, I get used to how it is already.

But yes, I do look forward to the good outcome of all of these.

Note to self: Breathe!

7 things this week

2010-10-23T19:05:00.006+08:00

Just the urge to blog a few things.

1) I realise that Caucasian men seem to look better as they age. Why oh why. Hugh Grant. Hugh Jackman. Mr Shuester. Brad Pitt. And yeah, some other people. Like perhaps some of the professors in school, hmm.

2) But I like boys too.

Andrew Garfield! Ok technically, he's 27, but very boyish look! If you're wondering where I found him, he stars in Social Networking! Awesome show with quirks here and there. He might star in Spiderman 3D in 2012.

3) Rainy weather = nostalgic! When I was in Paris, it kept raining cats and dogs, and somehow I seem to associate rain to Paris, not in a bad way though, in a good way because I love how rain gives you chills and forces you to keep yourself warm and snuggle. And when I thought of Paris, I thought of Endless Love by Mariah Carey. Amazing how we can associate unrelated things. But yes, I'm feeling nostalgic, and feeling all so good now listening to Mr Shuester's version of Endless Love (with rachel).

4) Does not like social loafing.

5) Went to Singapore Association of the Virtually Handicapped today with the rest of MNO groupmates and my heart goes out to them. The media focuses so much on the other kinds of disabilities and diseases that I think the blind are often under-reported of its severity. Although there's some truth to the fact that such a disability is less severe than others, can you imagine life in darkness? You can only imagine how the world looks like. We learnt how braille works and boy, it was difficult! There are different kinds of permutations comprising of 6 dots, hmm. And each pattern represents a letter. It's amazing how their sense of touch is so gooood to compensate for their (partial/full) loss of vision. Spoke to some of the visually impaired today and they were really nice. I like people who appreciate the simplest things in life.

6) Love spontaneous late-night movies :D

7) I love turtles! I finally saw the turtles at Queenstown's Macs for Ruiqi's sunset 21st! :D (sidenote: happy advanced birthday babe!). Afterall, I was a turtle ambassador back in pj, please don't laugh haha!

Cheese

2010-10-08T09:00:00.004+08:00

Good morning. I woke up today thinking about this awesome new pizza that Pizza Hut just came out with. Not that I'm advertising for it. But this advertisement at some random busstop caught my eye while I was on my way to school. Being a cheese-lover, I've gotta try this one. Hoorah for Italian cheese :D

Speaking of Italy, I'm dying to watch this!

Ah, gelato!

You might be wondering why is it that I seem to have more time in my hands. The arts faculty's having this e-learning week now. It masks all the million things I actually have to do. Like the 3 pending lectures to hear, and of course my projects. You see, we actually think that by having this, we'd be able to save more time but it actually makes you do more work. By being at home and being in front of your computer, people actually thought it will be faster, but in actual fact no. Like online discussion is twice as long as the actual physical discussion we could have had in classes. I just had two e-learning via chatrooms and it was uber slow and messy. I do remember my old MIRC days where I could easily follow people's spams in the main window, but imagine brainstorming ideas and typing them away, at the same time, keeping up with your tutorial mates' points. Plus, I feel that it's such a poor thing that professors have to speak to the microphone alone and record the lectures just for us to hear them. Now I am all for going to school.

Ok, enough rants about e-learning week since it's Friday!
And I'm hoping to catch something tonight since it's the french film festival.

Then, and now

2010-10-07T16:25:00.011+08:00

You know, the bad thing about not having the time to blog is that, I keep relying on the "save drafts" option, which obviously haven't been good at producing entries for a month! Well for obvious reasons, it's either I lost the mood to continue where I left off, or that I couldn't bring myself to sort out my thoughts well. So I shall give a summary/accumulated/condensed version of what's been written on my "save drafts";

- How much I have to read my psych texts
- How heavy my eyelids were while doing so
- How fast time flies
- Eid
- Being known as the "polar bear" by the MNO tutor, sheesh
- Sat for a French listening comprehension test without knowing it was on that day, double sheesh
- Universal Studios
- Best popcorn bought, everrr.

Voila, saves lotsa words ain't it? So that while I'm here I can blog about more recent things. So finally, I am so over and done with the mid-terms. Of course the pending presentations are still not done, but at least now I can slow down a little bit. Il faut que je respire!

Ok, so with the more exciting, recent things:

Spoke to really friendly French manager and waiter from TWG, this awesome chic tea restaurant at Ion. Ok, I am in fact, even more excited than how I sound now. I am actually bewildered how people whom I came across like from YOG, or even this French-Algerian man I met, could ask me this "Are you a Muslim?" Well, I guess what I observe from different settings is the tendency for human beings (including myself) to ask really obvious questions just to start conversations. Hypothetically, I can imagine myself asking a French, after hearing them speak, "Vous êtes français?" just so I can pursue on with further conversations. Or perhaps we see our neighbour carrying some bags of groceries and immediately ask, "Just came from market ah?". Yeah stupid but the things we do to start a conversation. So although I do receive the same obvious question every now and then, I'll always think of it as a socializing tool. Oh and just so you know, my dire need to speak french to the natives drove me to bring my group of friends to TWG the second time, and I felt mostly welcomed :) Go try the macaroons there!

So few weeks back, I had a cousins' gathering at Abg Khir's awesome penthouse in town. One thing I love about driven, passionate people is that they make it all seem so contagious. And by this I mean, Abg Khir has always given me that dosage of inspiration and passion each time we shared conversations. He spoke so well of the malay cuisine, of our heritage, of family history. He spoke so highly of my late grandmother, of the big yellow house my forefathers used to stay in, of family love. And he won me with all his modesty despite being successful and well-off. It was a splendid time spent, we ate really awesome food; some type of mee siam, an older version where the noodles are not swimming in thick, red gravy, just with small, sufficient amount. If you ask me what kind of person I'd like to be in the future, it would be like how my second cousin is.

So for some bimbotic fun, there was this one time in french class where I sniffed some deliciously-homemade muffins baked by nuurun and being caught in the whole sniffing action in front of my french professor, who simply stood there and stared at me, looking faintly amused. Ok geez. Actually, the main bulk of the whole excitement right now, are really the seasons of Gossip Girl, Glee and HIMYM I've been watching :D

So if you can see this written entry on my blog, then I'm slowly breaking away from the "save drafts" habit! Ciao.

Jeux Olympiques de la Jeunesse

2010-09-05T12:54:00.000+08:00

Well, it's been way too long isn't it? Let's see. 4th week of school was so passé and I've begun to feel slightly worried about my schoolwork cos I haven't really done much about it. And also, it's been a week since I've bidded farewell to my dear Beninois. I've been busy with YOG ever since its opening ceremony. I used to tell Kai Teng during one of the June/July trainings that we attended, that I never felt any form of satisfaction attending any of those. But once the olympics commenced, I feel the satisfaction sinking in bit by bit. First of all, I had access to the village, which is an atmosphere you'd want to sense every single day. Ok, at least for me, I love the international feel of it. You walk along those long corridors of NIE, and you see people of different colours speaking different languages. Trust me, I'll never look at NIE the same way again. It's like a mini world. With people exchanging pins, basking in the culture of others. When the day becomes night, there would be night concert/party for these youths to mingle!

The people I work for are really awesome. They are the Beninois. People often have misconceptions that I could actually speak some African language. They speak French, with of course their own native African accent (which, I have some problems with at first). That said, I discovered that 1/3 of the contries in Africa actually speak French. I just had to listen attentively and beneath that african accent, they ARE actually speaking French. But of course some of them are more pronounced than the other. The officials in Benin have been so nice and patient to me since they knew I had some difficulty understanding them at first. But this has allowed me to really improve my French. The other day I brought the ChefDeMission and the secretary to Mustafa Centre (you have no idea how these foreigners LOVE mustafa, it's like the entire village goes to mustafa!). And the day was like a French lesson to me! They taught me words I didn't know, it was great! After shopping, they wanted to eat and they asked for the best fish meal we could find here, so I brought them to get some fishhead curry. And guess what? They LOVE it like mad and they claimed that it was the best meal they've ever tasted in Singapore, and then I found out later on that they went there again on their own just to get that same meal.

No points for guessing how much I love the socialisation during the whole course of YOG. I absolutely used my french knowledge to talk to the rest of the Africans and they were soooooo nice. What I really admire about the general African culture is that they preserve their cultures just like we Asians. Friendship to them, is a big deal. Handshakes are signs of firendliness. As for my awesome Beninois ladies, they wear their long, colourful robes every night in the sea of the casual 'costumes' worn by the rest.

Although my journey as an NOC assistant has been long, I'll just cut it short with this group picture. The Beninois with me and the French volunteer Yoann (and his friend Renaud). Agnes isn't this picture cos she already flew to the states a week before this picture was taken.

Language

2010-08-12T17:42:00.007+08:00

So this morning, I totally felt defeated. I guess language acquisition is really hard. Really, really hard. I went back to reflect upon myself how in the world do I acquire English and Malay in such a progressively easy way. And I realise that the only way to acquire language so well is to speak it everyday. And by everyday, it means, every single moment, every single opportunity you take to communicate with someone else. To utilise it in our speech everyday, and to listen to others when they speak. Because otherwise, you can never get across what you really want to say, and you can never understand what others want to convey. Acquiring a third, forth, fifth (and so on) languages at a generally older age IS hard. I used to have this confidence that if you throw me in a French-speaking country, I think I would be able to hold conversations. Yes, that's true. Normal conversations at a rather average, slow-ish speed. But I don't want to feel limited when I communicate (I do admit that I'm vocal and talktative). I guess language comprehension is way harder than language production. Cos yes, truth is, listening is hard. All I need is lots of slowing down. And that said, I conclude, I still need to do so much to sharpen this language. So so much. And I still feel defeated right now (hopefully this will last by the end of today) because if I ever see something French right now, I still feel so ashamed of myself because I feel that I am not there yet. Ok, yes, maybe I'm pushing myself too hard. But I want to speak so well so badly, I think I NEED to go the extra mile to improve it. And so I will need time. So yes, I shall make more mistakes. That too, is another formula to learn it well.

Ok, this entry is not supposed to sound angsty, but just needed to vent out on what I think about languages. And for someone who wishes to acquire more languages, I guess one experience is enough to equip me to what I would be in for, in the future.

[updated]

No more feelings of defeat, depression and pessimism. A kind soul gave me a call and then, without knowing it, we ended up having a good french conversation. Now I feel fine. Language shouldn't be rushed, and I'm willing to take this one step at a time :)

Anyway, school was good. It was a mere 2-hour lecture of paedriatic psychology. After that, played monopoly deal with wx and jiayee. This is how I want to spend my first two weeks of school before I get bombarded with assignments, projects and readings. And a good bus ride home with jiayee and aiman.

School

2010-08-10T01:51:00.015+08:00

Modules this semester:
- Social Psychology
- Paediatric Psychology
- Learning and Conditioning
- French 5
- Management and Organisation

So tomorrow, or rather, later, will be the start of a new semester. Daym, Year 3 sounds so old. I'm feeling pretty apprehensive because some of the psych modules above are rather heavy. I am uber scared for French because this time round it is mostly about French literature which is something new and foreign to me. And that apprehension is futher aggravated upon seeing that my lecturer could be the same one I had 3 semesters ago. Not that he's bad, just that he always has tendencies to call my name whenever I was off-guard or wasn't prepared for answers, like all the time. Do you know how silly that looks? Imagine question marks all over my face while trying my best to form sentences in my head. Ok but thankfully because of him, I bucked up a lot and that probably contributed to why I'm still pursuing this language. So yeah, this is a challenge (: Excited for the psych modules and MNO too! MNO tutorials would be heavily graded upon and they involve a couple of debates.

Summing it up, I am surprisingly enthusiastic for school.
Summer's out people! (except that it's not)

While Lina was cruising us around Singapore for some good food and good chillax session on Sunday night, Things I'll Never Say by Avril Lavinge was being played.
I forgot how awesome it is, especially the lyrics.

I'm tuggin' at my hair
I'm pullin' at my clothes
I'm tryin' to keep my cool
I know it shows
I'm staring at my feet
My cheeks are turning red
And I'm searching for the words inside my head

'Cause I'm feeling nervous
Tryin' to be so perfect
'Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it
Yeah.

What's wrong with my tongue?
These words keep slipping away
I stutter, I stumble like I've got nothing to say.

If I could say what I wanna say
I'd say I want to blow you away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could see what I wanna see
I want to see you go down on one knee
Marry me today

Guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say.

Home

2010-08-09T14:07:00.003+08:00

Happy Birthday Singapore! Although the National Day hype diminishes as I age, Singapore is too tiny a country to not feel the vibe, especially when you get those roadblocks due to the parade rehearsals in the city, fireworks on Saturdays and of course the aerial flypast. I guess partly the reason why it diminishes is because I'm no longer exposed to what we used to when we were younger. Remember back in primary and secondary school we have the sing-along sessions during assembly? And we would readily sing them? Damn, I miss those mass celebrations that succeeded in building up an atmosphere enough to make you feel you have celebrated an occasion fully. I have to give credits to the National Day songs because most of them, if not all, are really good.

A few days ago, I was present at this YOG event, and they started to play several national day songs. And without fail, I can easily sing the songs without putting in effort to remember the lyrics at all. It's amazing how words to these songs remain etched in some part of my memory. And although time and time again, I do wish that I could stay somewhere else, or when I have sudden urges to get out of the country or that I occasionally question why is it that I'm born a Singaporean, I probably would not have found comfort in anywhere else. Yes we do complain about the weather, the increasing population in an awful small, squeezy country, GST, kiasu-ism, and the string of complaints typically made by Singaporeans, this is home. Most importantly, the people I love are mostly here. And that alone can easily surpass all the complaints above.

So Happy National Day to Singaporeans out there :)

Free Will

2010-08-04T13:31:00.005+08:00

"Destiny, I feel, is also a relationship - a play between divine grace and willful self-effort. Half of it you have no control over; half of it is absolutely in your hands, and your actions will show measurable consequence. Man is neither entirely a puppet of the gods, nor is he entirely the captain of his own destiny; he's a little of both. We gallop through our lives like circus performers balancing on two speeding side-by-side horse called "free will". And the question you have to ask every day is - which horse is which? Which horse do I need to stop worrying about because it's not under my control, and which do I need to steer with concentrated effort?

There is so much about fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under my jurisdiction. There are certain lottery tickets I can buy, thereby increasing my odds of finding contentment. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I eat and read and study. I can choose how I'm going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life - whether I will see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts."

- Eat, Pray, Love

-
So the country I'm assigned to for YOG is Benin. It's somewhere in West Africa. I've not heard of this country before and probably half of the other countries participating in the YOG (I realised this when I attended the YOG opening ceremony rehearsal last Friday). And that's when I realise that the world is massive, and I would die to explore every corner of the world, immerse myself in every culture and to learn various languages. Anyway, I was informed that the Chef De Mission I'll be working with only speaks French! This might sound exciting but looks like I need to practice loads prior to my working days. But the best part about it is that I'll be working with 2 other international students under Benin, one from the States and another from France. Woohoo. And my dream finally came true. I finally met the rest of the francophiles :)

I've been thinking about notions of right and wrong as of late. What really struck me as strange would be the discomfort the right person experiences for doing the right things. Why is it that some of the right things people do are frowned upon and are used as subjects of mockery? What has the world come to?

Inception

2010-07-31T02:28:00.007+08:00

So here's basically what sums up my Sunway getaway:

- Sleeping late
- And with that, of course waking up around noon almost everyday
- Playing Monopoly Deal till late nights/early mornings
- Social networking - And by this, knowing Kiki's circle of friends in Sunway, thank you for making my stay awesomest! (: Kiki has awesome housemates and her roommate from Sabah is hilariously expressive!
- How I Met Your Mother marathon. In need to finish up Season 5 before the semester starts!
- Karaoke with an unbelievable, cheap cost of 5 Sg bucks somewhere in Sunway Pyramid. It's not even those shady-looking karaokes, it's actually better than decent. Zomg, why is karaoke in Singapore so bloody expensive?!
- Had the best of both worlds of food. Hands down, nothing can ever beat hawker centre food with sumptuous home-cooked meals. It makes me feel closer to home. And for what felt like the longest time ever, I finally taste the best Nasi Padang with awesome belachan! Everything for 5 ringz!
- Movies!
- Did a fair bit of shopping
- Just glorious glorious food!

So I would call it a getaway rather than a holiday. Life was slow-paced there. And I totally needed it.

Anyway, the talk of the town as of late hands down would be INCEPTION! Every meet-ups I've had so far involved the whole hype of this mind-blowing movie. And we'd just delve into a heated discussion about the possible interpretations of the ending. And so I found this! Useful, ey?

To understand better, click here.

Spontaneity

2010-07-22T00:13:00.005+08:00

Woohoo, I'm typing this away in Kiki's hostel room in Sunway campus, Malaysia. How awesome is that! Ok, so the story is, I made an impulsive (and I mean this well) decision right about two days ago, probably 1 ish or 2 am on Monday after Khai and I got chased by a cat (this is another story altogether, gonna skip this). An impulsive, spontaneous decision to follow Kiki back to her campus and bunk into her hostel room, and to relive what Nuurun and I did exactly a year ago. And the best part is, when Kiki's friends asked me how long will I be staying here, the only thing I could say is, I don't know. Haha, I'll go home whenever I feel like, so we'll see! So we just reached here 8 pm, bumped into few of Kiki's friends and drove us for dinner. Cool medicine students. Ok ciao.

This is my now

2010-07-20T22:57:00.006+08:00

Howdy har har everyone!

I know it's been sometime since I've written. I feel like there's nothing much to write because the truth is, you never know what's really in store for you. Remember four months ago I was excitedly writing about how I cannot wait for the summer break to come and the list of plans I mentioned? One thing I learnt is that, we can make endless plans, but they don't always go our way all the time. Some may look promising at first but they fail and turn their backs on you towards the end. Yes, because human beings are only capable of planning, otherwise we have no control over the outcome. And look where we are now! It's almost coming to the end of July. I'm not expressing disappointment though, I am actually glad that these couple of weeks I've been pretty much rotting away and slacking. So I didn't get an internship just like I wanted to (and yes, NOW I finally believe my seniors when they said that psychology majors would face difficulties in this). But I did do other things instead, I'm too lazy to mention them, you'd know if you follow through my entries.

But the best of these two weeks, I'd say it's How I Met Your Mother and million other movies I caught :)
-

“The other problem with all this swinging through the vines of thought is that you are never where you are. You are always digging in the past or poking at the future, but rarely do you rest in this moment”
- Eat, Love, Pray

I'm still reading Eat, Pray, Love. This book has ingrained in me so, so many insightful ideas and notions and fragments of thought. I'm slowly beginning to believe that the relationship I have with books is one with a twist of magic and coincidence because each time I read a book, it's kind of in sync with what I'm actually going through or what I actually needed at one point in time. Perhaps for some intellectual stimulation, motivation, fun and pleasure, or just to plant a realisation in my head or for some good epiphany that will make me awed. So I picked this book sometime ago and came across the excerpt above. And that's when I realised. What I found myself doing this summer break is that, I kept prodding into the past and dreaming about the future. And never really living the present moment as fully as I should. It's probably the great deal of idling time I have in my hands which causes my mind to wander off like that. It took me this long to realise that, and thanks to the book, I shall constantly remind myself to live in the moment. This is life and this is it. This is the now. Now now now now now now :)

Kudos Elizabeth Gilbert! I'm searching for more books based on true inspiring stories just like hers.

Anything but ordinary

2010-07-18T14:21:00.005+08:00

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep it's my lullaby
Sometimes I drive so fast
Just to feel the danger
I want to scream it makes me feel alive

To walk within the lines
Would make my life so boring
I want to know that I have been to the extreme
So knock me off my feet
Come on now, give it to me
Anything to make me feel alive

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

Let down your defenses
Use no common sense
If you look, you will see
That this world is a beautiful, accident
Turbulent, succulent, opulent
Permanent, no way
I wanna taste it
Don't wanna waste it away yeah, yeah

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep it's my lullaby

I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

World Cup 2010!

2010-07-11T19:40:00.003+08:00

So it comes down to Mani the Parakeet vs. Paul the Octopus. Lame I know. For tonight's World Cup finals, I don't really want to choose sides although I have to admit, I am more on the Holland's side but that's only because Spain won and Germany lost during the semis when I wanted the Germans to win. But that's stupid. So may the best team wins!

Of soccer and lots of free time

2010-07-06T12:25:00.004+08:00

All I can say is Toy Story 3 is beyond awesome! It did a good closure and a wrap-up for the Toy Story sequels. And yes, partings are always sad (I'm referring to the last bit where Andy had to go for college), and AIMAN had to spoil the natural tears by saying "So, this is the part you're gonna cry?" So I didn't.

Yesterday I went for another volunteering session at autism partnership. Since the kids had their 2-week break, I feel like it's been ages since I've been there. Anyway, it was quite cool to see their pleasurable faces when they jumped onto the tiny trampoline. It's as if the looks are the kind that say that if I don't do the same I'm missing out so much in life. Ok exaggeration again. But yeah knowing that it cannot possibly hold my weight, I have this sudden urge to really jump on a huge one. And have a terrific time just like the kids.

As for the World Cup, I'm hoping for a Holland VS Germany finals. I think that the Germans had it this time, they are young, fast and tactical. Speaking of Germany, I'm sure some of you have probably watch this uber disgusting video of the German coach who I actually thought is one of the better looking and well-dressed coach. Alas, because his team of young players have been performing well, somebody have to compensate for the past victories. Yes, Joachim Loew and his uh, discrete shenanigans.

The Downfall

2010-06-27T20:04:00.005+08:00

OMG JUSTIN BIEBER DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IS GERMAN? Unbelievable!
I love The Downfall parodies. They use this video for almost every single thing, about the CAP system, Kanye West dissing Taylor Swift, there's even one for the recent flood at Orchard Road LOL.

My Saturday

2010-06-27T13:16:00.002+08:00

Visualize a baby bottle, you know, with the pacifier and all that. Apparently I have a natural knack of being picked to do silly things. It was Sangi's awesome 21st birthday party last night at Sentosa. And one of the games during the party consists of 'quenching one's thirst' by drinking a baby bottle full of coke. The first one to finish the bottle wins. YES, I WAS CHOSEN TO DO THAT. OMG! My mouth was sore halfway through the game. I never intended to win this (against 4 other competitors), because firstly, I hate coke but since this is warm coke it was pretty alright though, and secondly, to drink from a BABY BOTTLE? Why, I must applaud Sangi's awesome sister for coming up with such creative games haha. Am really magnetic towards the whole notion of sillyness but then again, that is probably a part of me.

Anyway, I feel the excitement of the youth olympics game already! Because I had my first training cum bonding session with the rest of the NOC assistants yesterday morning. It was nice! I am excited because I'd be working with the African officials and delegates, something like liaison officers, and I am mostly psyched about speaking french! The bonding session yesterday was great fun, all of us were made to play samba musical instruments and to create some harmonious music together. Awesome awesome!

Work musings

2010-06-23T00:44:00.005+08:00

My job involves keying in data, but what's more important are the details being keyed beneath this no-brainer job. In fact, it's saddening because I have to look through application papers for social assistance and financial help from mostly the broken families, or families with a deceased parent, or children with a parent serving his/her imprisonment, or abandoned kids born out of wedlock and whom their grandparents have to take reponsibilities for. It's even sadder to imagine these young children being exposed to such turmoil at the early stages of their lives.

Anyway, before I get too attached to this, my newfound colleague just had me laughing throughout the whole afternoon so much that I had to suppress as much as I can from my usual laughing outbursts. After expressing how saddening some family situations are, she told me that she has seen even sadder cases as she worked in some social assistance centre before. And this was when the joke came in. She explained how she came across really funny, weird names parents actually gave to their children(as gently discussed in The Noose as well LOL). And there was this particular name that had me laughing till I teared. And that is, PERIUK BIN KUALI. For those who don't understand, if I literally translate this, it means "Wok, son of Pan" Ok, technically both words means 'pan' if I'm not wrong. This is darn hilarious, can't take it!!! Cooking tools as choices of names? Seriously?!?

Met up with ruiqi, joy & jiayee today for another round of board games (for me). It was great catching up with the girls. Plus, Ruiqi made for us chocolates with smashed oreo fillings! Hello dear Martha Stewart! :) Very delicious thank you so much babe! They are good that I have to mention here :)

If it's not too late for coffee

2010-06-20T01:41:00.006+08:00

Went out with the most dramatic person who I can dramatize the most comfortable with, and whom, despite meeting up very regularly, I still don't get bored of. And yes, Aishah indeed has an eye for details also when it comes to shopping so I love subjecting my choice of shopping items to her scrutiny for further assesments (LMAO). So today's awesome! We then proceeded to the new scape just for Once Upon A Milkshake just to get our yummy Cookies & Cream milkshakes (but the tanjong pagar's branch has better ambience), and then we bumped into a group of musicians and they were strumming/drumming/singing away to COPELAND! Yes, coffee! Sorry, but I just HAVE to put the lyrics.

There's plenty of time left tonight
I promised I'd have you home before daylight
We do the best we can in a small town
Act like big city kids when the sun goes down

If it's not too late for coffee
I'll be at your place in ten
We'll hit that all night diner
And then we'll see

There's so many things I have to say
I'll stay up all night to hear about your day
We do the best we can in a small town
Act like kids in love when the sun goes down

There's a love that transcends
All that we've known of ourselves
And I'll wait for it to come
I'll wait for it to come
Well it's got to be strong to touch my heart
Through its shell
And I'll wait for it to come
I'll wait for it to come

Was contented with a couple of things I bought. But the best thing about today is that we chanced into a display of fireworks. Also, I am employed! Just till the end of this month that is, but it's better than earning nothing.

Friday night was awesome as well. Board games :)))))))

et toi, quoi de neuf?

Nothingness

2010-06-18T11:12:00.005+08:00

Il Dolce Far Niente, Italian for "sweetness of doing nothing". I think we should all strive to achieve this state when such opportunities come along. Why on earth do we get agitated and uneasy each time we've got nothing to do? When in actual fact, we are supposed to feel relaxed and happy? We should bask ourselves in the pool of nothingness, without boredom looming in. Just like the Italians for they have perfected this so well.

Dumbledore

2010-06-18T00:49:00.005+08:00

I know this is probably another random entry. But I'm excited for Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows movie and I suddenly thought about the day when I read through the final pages of Harry Potter & The Half Blood Prince. I must admit, I was actually mourning for the great Albus Dumbledore when he died (or got killed rather). Not the kind of mourning that goes on for days, just a momentary one. And I pictured in my mind, how everyone in Hogwarts were mourning for their beloved Headmaster and how solemn the environment must have felt to the extent that I actually thought that the bedroom where I was, in this tiny, little Singapore, felt equally dull and grey as well. It's impressive how characters come alive like that and reel me into the world of stories. I even had texted Revathi about how sad I felt when I was done with the book. Pardon for the melodrama, but it's the power of narration, and of course the brilliant writer herself, J.K Rowling.

And certainly, the movie version couldn't elicit half of the emotions I felt as when I was reading the book.

There's always 1001 things to do

2010-06-16T21:56:00.004+08:00

Now, I supposed most Singaporean bloggers will harp about the flood at Orchard Road. I shall skip that, although I'd like to add that I actually woke up this morning (11 am) feeling so good because the weather's nice. Little did I know for two hours there was a flood at Orchard Road and to think that such occurences are rarity. Ok I hope they would start doing something to the drainage system.

Working at Media C. for 2 days was quite an experience, except that Aiman and I did nothing much on Sunday and we kind of did a million more things on Monday because we had ongoing tasks to do. Plus we've met exciting people and also, hmm, interesting people (of whom we secretly gave nicknames for us to refer to). I suddenly thought of The Devil Wears Prada and I actually wonder how the life of assistants are in this line of work, are they really treated like shit? Is that a part of climbing up the ladder in this career path? Ok random. The awesome thing is really to see how they switch cameras from the panel room, and being backstage to see how people calm themselves down before being on stage and being behind the cameras. And to see the studio and how the stage manager cue people to clap when the audience have to. And, to see handsome host star like Khairudin Saharom.

I am really hoping that I'll get either job that the agent promised I would get. Oh pretty please. Though I love the days when I'm actually free. I'm amazed again and again how time really flies despite me not doing anything fixed. Perhaps that's how times flies. I just finished watching Glee's final episode. Catching up with the last few episodes of Season 3 of Gossip Girl (I've been saving this instead of watching it during the semester just for the summer break!). I feel like I have been going out everyday doing things I have to do, or doing things I don't really have to do like roam or, roam, or just meeting people. So I really value the time I have at home. And I extremely love the zen-like feeling I get when I read a book in complete peace, no distractions.

Since writing things down would resolve some procrastination; gentle reminder to self: Get a swimsuit. I've been imagining the lazy river ever since I don't know when. So when Eva comes back from Sumatra I'm going to beg her to go there with me!

Notes

2010-06-12T03:03:00.004+08:00

1. Never ever walk with anything else but flats (and NOT wedges) when you're walking uphill with winding paths to an isolated, important place, that seemingly feels like 400m worth of distance. So I established that amongst all kinds of shoes, flats are totally made for me.

2. I ate the best cheese fries ever today after such a long time.

3. I love food, and it's not only because they taste good, but I like how some of them look and the whole presentation of it. The best part of it is how pretty they can actually look in pictures!

4. I rarely take the train, but when I do, I actually enjoy the rides (the un-peak hours of such rides). And each time I take the train, I would find myself wondering how long it would take to reach from one end to the other in another city (considering the fact that it only takes about at most 1.5 hours to do that here, in Singapore).

5. The thing is, I do feel like being in another city each time I imagine as such.

6. I love cozy cafes with beautiful furnitures, good music and good company. Sometimes it doesn't really matter if the cafe sells coffee, or milkshakes, or icecreams, or pastries, I just love cozy cafes in general.

7. Honestly, I'd like to be an Elizabeth Gilbert-ian (note to bala: I hope I can write one in the future too!)

8. Two nights ago, I dreamt that I was in Bali, and I spoke to a bunch of French people there. Oddly odd.

9. I realise that these days, I've just been facing blogger and having nothing much to write because probably I haven't found the right mix of things to say. Yesterday I theorized that probably, writing is just like cooking. You just need the right ingredients and making the right concoction, in the right mood. Pardon for the food references so far.

10. Details shouldn't be overlooked, or in this case, overheard. Like the beautiful pieces of instrumental sounds; every beat, every strum, every single bit of sound produced.

11. Humans should do incongruent things once in awhile, just like laughing as a greeting instead of the usual 'hello'. (yes you've guessed it, I did just that).

12. Last Sunday, while I was in the middle of nowhere between Singapore and KL and where everything was dark, we saw how the nightsky was emblazoned by beautiful, shining stars. I craned my neck to the best angles I could and it seemed as though it was literally a blanket of stars I saw. Like millions of them. God is great.

13. I think that one of the greatest reasons to live your life for is the yearning for closeness. To fight for that one person worth being close to.

14. The best way to measure companionship is having nothing to do, just the presence of you and your company, and walking out of it thinking you just had the best conversation ever. I am so close to believing that I can survive with just this, even if it means everyday. Because I believe that human touch, is so so important.

I need a challenge

2010-06-09T13:24:00.001+08:00

Now I feel like doing just one thing and that's just it. So far I feel like I've been running around doing a million random things, like tuitioning, and then to autism centre for volunteer, and then interviewing dialysis patients. And then soon I will be helping khalilah with a one-day media corp thing and there's gonna be YOG training soon. I need to just do one thing, I'm feeling kind of bored just being here and there, and everywhere.

KL for 3 days was awesome. Being high during the course of the trip was an understatement. Shopping there was a disappointment though, hopefully I'll be able to go there again in July and perhaps the sales would be better. But food wasn't a letdown at all. I wish the trip was longer though. Actually, I just feel like being in some faraway place to get a good feel of holiday mood because I don't feel much of a holiday just being in Singapore. Dream on.

I also need to find some good deal of time to read. I hate it that everytime I read I get distracted to do other things or I have to go somewhere. I need to drown myself in good reads. And that means I need to start with Eat, Prat, Love before the movie premiers, which is soon since I saw the poster back in KL.

So far I've volunteered at Autism Partnership officially twice and the experience has been pretty alright, just that I wish I can do so much more than just do toilet-training for the kids, which on average, 5 times a day. Not that it's easy (it's not trust me), just that my inner self is dying to teach them proper lessons just like the teachers there do and well.. do so much more! I wish I'm a therapist. I get so bored easily. I just need to do things that challenge myself.

Les mots tres beaux

2010-06-02T20:47:00.004+08:00

J’ai lu tes cartes après longtemps. Je pensais pour un instant que pendant tout ce temps, j’étais une folle. Parce que mon faiblesse, c’est les mots. Les mots très beaux. Et aussi, ceux qui ont été la clé de mon cœur. Maintenant je me demande, pourquoi je les ai lus ? Pourquoi pourquoi pourquoi ?

Prince of Persia

2010-05-31T12:52:00.003+08:00

Prince of Persia is totally made of win.
AND JAKE IS SO HOT.

Collisions

2010-05-29T22:29:00.011+08:00

"What if she was meant to be, or could have been, someone important in my life? I think that’s what scares me: the randomness of everything. That the people who could be important to you might just pass you by. Or you pass them by. How do you know…I felt that by walking away I was abandoning them, that I spent my entire life, day after day, abandoning people.”

- Peter Cameron

There are times when I think about this from almost the same perspective. Although not to that profound extent of the whole 'abandonment' notion, but yeah you get my drift. Have you ever wondered how life can work in the most remarkable, yet the most randomest ways? And how people actually meet and get to know one another, which may or may not lead to something greater such as friendship and whatnots? And if you think about this for a moment, it is that amazing. Imagining a situation whereby a man and a woman got married, and never knew that they had actually "collided" numerous times before. However random this is, it's just simply amazing. The works of fate, coincidence and probably some effort intertwined together to unite people. So does this mean that we all have second chances with anyone out there at all? Or third, forth, fifth, infinity and beyond? And that some stranger out there might someday be part of our lives? And if so, how many chances do we get?

Come what may

2010-05-28T00:28:00.003+08:00

Nothing can ever beat Moulin Rouge (:
I can just watch this once every year and I don't get sick of it.

I wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna go, there.

Juste autre jour

2010-05-27T00:20:00.007+08:00

I've been stepped on the feet by numerous heels as of late. Ouch. Ok this is too random. I see this as an indicator of the increasing pace of the people in downtown. And of course my uncanny vulnerability towards things like these. Go figure.

I'm currently stuck in this dilemma where I have to make up my mind as to whether I should volunteer or to earn money, and whether it's possible to juggle both. As much as I want to volunteer, I feel that this school holiday brings good opportunities to collect some money (when else can I do this?). But this comes with some effort since finding a job that suits your needs and fields of interests can be pretty tough. I went down to Autism Partnership yesterday and the supervisor showed us the classroom and the kids. I immediately felt that I would absolutely enjoy volunteering there. The moment I saw the classroom, the toys, the activities they have to engage in, the psychological theories being applied to them and definitely the impressionable children with so much potential, I feel that this could be an interesting challenge and experience. But classes would only begin from 1 pm onwards. Any jobs with morning shifts?

Today I visited the school dentist and I had the fastest filling session in the teeth-related history ever. You know I'm not exaggerating when I say that it felt like mere 5 minutes! How fast is that? The moment I entered, the dentist started drilling stuffs (you know the uncomfortable friction sensation, ugh), inserted some liquid crap and then shaped it after a while and voila, it's done! And to mention the increasing number of assistants crowding around me towards the end. Not that I'm claustrophobic, but somehow it seems as though I have a mini dental surgery with these people hovering around and passing the dental equipments above my head. I guess the assistants have so much of time in their hands since it's the school holiday.

I've just finished watching Personal Taste yesterday and I cannot help but to love the ending. Why do K-dramas always leave such an effect? I think this drama totally showcases Lee Min Ho's acting skills more than in BOF (although I totally went gaga over him in the latter). The character is too idealistic though, but it makes you warm and fuzzy inside. Such escapism (:

I need to brush up my French. Pronto. And also, these online modules for the upcoming olympic event are taking up my time. Ah, it better pays (:

After so long

2010-05-25T02:46:00.006+08:00

Hello world! I know that I've been gone for more than 3 weeks. I don't even have an entry on the last day of my exams but yeah! It's all over now and summer break's in! Even the exam results will be out in a week's time. To tell you the truth, I have no idea how exactly time flew for the past 3 weeks. But here's some:

Nuurun has already been discharged and she's been doing good! I'm grateful that you made it through my dear. Strut with those nice shoes and your pretty shawl and we can go out again and enjoy the summer break!
The usual, random socializing with people!
Went to apply for volunteerism at IMH and Autism Partnership, we decided the latter and still waiting for confirmation if we can volunteer to work with the kids :) Was thinking that since I have free time, why not volunteer? But of course I need to get a job quick too.
Had tuition marathons with tutee. 5 different tuition sessions but we're having one-week break for now. Hope he does well in his mid year exams.
Had been working for Dr. Griva on her study on dialysis patients, over and done with that already now though. It went pretty alright but challenging at first since I had to speak comprehensible, fluent Malay (note that the Malay I speak can be very disjointed and pasar) to most of the patients and it sucked very much at the beginning. But it got better :) Also, I experienced a conversation with a dementia patient and that was quite some challenge especially since his train of thoughts was incoherent and short-span. It was also great that some patients are very chatty and their stories were actually very interesting.
In need of an exciting job, otherwise my summer would suck doing typical things. Knowing how people tend to complain when they have too little or too much of things, having too much time on your hands is not good. Especially now that I can't fulfil my internship plans, I absolutely must find a good part-time job in place of that. I'm losing moolahs by the day.
Went to JB one of the Saturdays, was a total eat-out plus movie time! Iron Man 2 and Bounty Hunter. I thought Bounty Hunter would be crappy but it turned out pretty good.
Nisha's 21st birthday party was awesome!
Although this constitutes probably very little (smaller than I wanted to), I did have some 'me' time, and especially involving Personal Taste and Lee Min Ho (and other great movies)!
Managed to jog just ... ONCE. PATHETIC I KNOW.
Number of books completed = 1/2 of a book. Geez.
And other random things like staying overnight at Changi Airport with crazy friends, baking etc.

Also, I will be going to KL just for 3 short days. So kiki if you're reading this I hope you'll be free from 4-6th June to show us around!

So long! Hopefully I won't take very long to update another entry :) Enjoy your holiday people!

Words of dedication

2010-04-30T23:10:00.007+08:00

To my dearest friend,

Please get well soon. It's been so long and I cannot help but to feel empty, really really empty beyond words. You will always be in my prayers, and you are always on my mind. I BELIEVE that you will get through this soon enough and you will resume back to how you used to be, always making my day, sharing every excited details about your life, and simply just being yourself that has really become a part of me. For you, I will always stay positive and stay strong. I am looking forward to days when we can share that crazy high laughter when sharing our special jokes, when we can have our serious, intellectual conversations and simply just talking about mindless things all over again. I want to go home with you on the other end of the line and always asking about how my day went, or simply just for catching up. Because I miss you so much. But I know you are indeed a very strong girl, and although I may not be physically next to you all the time, I will spiritually provide endless support and I KNOW you will make it through! Time will tell soon enough and I will look forward to that day. This has taught me about how much I need you, being the amazing, wonderful, beautiful person you are. So I will wait for the better days when you are better, insyaAllah. I pray to God to always look after you and all your beloved who love you so much. I love you and I will continue to stay positive! Have a lot of faith and you'll get better! Because then it is not life if there isn't any obstacles :)

Yours truly
Your best steering wheel partner

P.S: when you're finally reading this, thank you for choosing me as your boyfriend (hypothetically) IF I were to be a boy (yes, SOMEONE told me this, guess who?!) :DD

The brightest and the faintest

2010-04-25T01:21:00.006+08:00

I had my first paper today. I think that it was reasonably, moderately challenging but I think it's the sort of paper that didn't provide enough opportunities for me to display my true understanding of this module. Ah injustice, but I did my best! I still like Personality and I think Ryan Hong is such a funny, good lecturer haha. Hoping for the best still! :)

Me and xiang decided to take some break and then meet again just now to study till midnight at macs. I was pretty appalled actually with the crowd at macs (again, I forgot it's a Saturday, I mean, exam on a Saturday?!) because there were hoards of people sitting, all facing in one direction, towards the big plasma TV, showcasing some soccer match. I wanted to find seats but to no avail and I was thinking, who on earth would spend their Saturday night at Macs? Then I realised that I was in a more pathetic situation (who on earth STUDIES on saturday night?). Ok on a positive note, 3 more papers to go, and then, liberalism! :)

On the way home via the flyover, I was so absorbed with how the stars have been showing after so long since the weather has been rather chilly and cloudy at night. There were those instances when I wanted to experience that nature-self bonding by star-gazing but to great disappointment due to the cloudy sky. But tonight was good! I know that contrary to the popular kindergarten song, stars don't twinkle, but to what extent is this true?

Did you know that fans of any winning teams will experience higher levels of testosterone (even amongst the females)? So for those soccer fans out there, now you understand why you elicit (positively, triumphantly) agressive behaviour when your favourite team scores!

Some statistics

2010-04-21T23:42:00.004+08:00

A small piece of info from my health psych notes that might be relevant to some of us. Am not surprised why "It's finals week" is ranked number 3. And hooomagod, I can straightaway drown in lalaland if there's a bed next to me but I'm not close to finishing what I want to finish by today!

I discovered that there are certain songs that we don't quite internalise the lyrics or meanings of them, especially those songs during the primary school days! Backstreet boys, S Club 7, Westlife .... and many many years down the road later(today), when I listen to the songs for the umpteenth time, suddenly the meanings mean so much more than before! Amazing how we can listen to songs just for pleasure sometimes without even caring about the lyrics.

Standing at the same place, Looking at the same thing

Hello, Saturday

Livejournal

For the longest time

If all is well

Open your eyes

Midnight in Paris

Laughter

Chesapeake

The Notebook

The simple pleasures in life

Bicycles

The Hunger Games Trilogy

Because I do like you

Lovers

Excerpt of a beautiful poetry

Serendipity

ser·en·dip·i·ty

Closure

With every person

Living Louder

Extroverts

Answers

Bliss

Because I form conversations in my head everyday

School and Modules

Can't take that away from me

Sakinah

Ma vie pendant l'été

My world

Dire rien

Every step we take

Tweet tweet

In all your consciousness

In Your Arms

Gonna get over it

Secret Garden

I do do do do do

Set fire to the rain

World in front of you

Rolling in the deep

je ne t'aime pas comme ca

Be, be your love

Don't stop inspiring me

BOO ME

Never Let Me Go

Alice

Girlfriends

20 untranslatable words from all around the world

Home

Bound to you

Not so ordinary

Like a train on the track

Conversation

Run

Change

Another new semester

je vous remercie

2011

Il Dolce Far Niente!

Gleek

Hot Chocolate

My awesome recess/exam week

Nasality

RAWR

Eid Al-Adha

Head Over Heels

The Experiment

Les Francophiles

Breathe

7 things this week

Cheese

Then, and now

Jeux Olympiques de la Jeunesse

Language

School

Home

Free Will

Inception

Spontaneity